Of Restitution, (or at least an attitude towards it).

"I don't owe him anything." These foolish and hurtful words were spoken by a man in reference to another man that he greatly wronged, and they were spoken in the midst of claiming repentence. Honestly, that man could never pay that which he owes the other man. Never, never in his life. But those words stuck fast in my head.

Today I was reading one of my "Am I ever gonna finish this?" books, The Evil of Evils, by Jeremiah Borroughs. There is much meat in this book, much meat that I have to digest for myself, rather than try to dish out to others. But this section immediately reminded me of those words -- "I don't own him anything."

Judas got thirty pieces of silver. He had a covetous disposition and would have money. He would not be as poor as the other disciples, so he got money in a sinful way; but when his conscience came to be awakened and terrified, he went (and a kind of vengeance went with him) to the Scribes and Pharisees and threw the money down. Those coins were too hot for him, he could not endure the scalding of them in his conscience. They were even, as it were, melted in his soul. He could not keep the thirty pieces of silver, they were so terrible to him.

So, certainly, that's your thirty pieces: any household stuff, anything you have gotten in a sinful way. Oh, it will be terrible to you one day! I beseech you, brethren, take notice of it. Anyone who has gotten, by ways of sin, anything, it is not enough to the salvation of that soul that it has been never so sorrowful. All the sorrow in the world, and repentance you can have for sin, will not save your soul unless you restore. Unless you make restitution to the utmost of your ability, you can never have comfort and assurance that sin is pardoned. It is an old saying of an ancient, "The sin is not remitted until that which was taken away is restored."

There are many men and women who think, if they can get anything by sinful ways, they will repent and pray to God for forgiveness and be sorry, and yet keep that which was gotten in a sinful way. No, that will not serve the turn, all your praying to God with never so much sorrow. There must be restitution of what you have sinfully gotten to the utmost of your ability. Though the party is dead, you must not keep it.

4 things.

1. LOL @ the "We Speak Peace to Arminians" Xanga ring! Not lol-ing because I agree with their mission statement, but at the name of the ring and the agitator that provoked it (or rather, apparently started the ring).

2. No, it wasn't karate that hurt my back, it was replacing parts of the gas grill today. I guess it was worth it, as I was rewarded for my efforts with a delicious grilled cheeseburger.

3. I never promised you a Hoegaarden.

4. Ugh. Found out today that my parents are divorcing. Well, only one of my parents. Both of my parents divorced a long time ago. I mean one of my bio-parents and my step-parent (that I love). Get it?

More than a feeling.

"The nature of Garciaparra's injury was not immediately clear."

I don't know, the nature of his injury looks clear as day to me!



I feel like that on the inside sometimes. In fact, the last time I was on the ground like that, it had nothing to do with bodily injury. Come on now, dust yourself off and get back in the ball game.

Watch my language.

Went to work early, came home late. Very tired. But there's always time to take a quiz!

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

20% Yankee

15% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Stress and release.

Let me tell you, work has been SO stressful lately. I'm at risk of burning out. I went to Karate class this morning, and it was FUN. We did some work with tonfa, also called tuifa.

Besides being just plain fun, coupled with a high coolness factor, learning to fight with a short stick can come in handy someday (ever notice that the cops carry something like a tonfa?), and working with them strengthens the grip, and therefore the empty-handed fist. Then I spent some time re-learning Chinto, I kata that I haven't done in it's entirety in probably 15 years. Chinto is one of the fancier looking kata's in Isshinryu -- everything's on an angle, X-blocks, moves involving some spinning, and even a jumping double-fake kick (not nearly as goofy as the Karate Kid's "Crane Kick", but the same concept of faking with one and simultaneously kicking with the other). Anyway, a very stress-less time that I'm thankful for. I go to work later today, and will no doubt enter into that serenity vs. insanity battle yet again. Maybe I'll bring my tonfa to work with me.

All hail!

Princess Elisabeth! 

Subdivisions

"Conform or be cast out."

My Christian Traditions Selector results

Rank/ Item/ Percent
1: Presbyterian/Reformed (100%)
2: Congregational/United Church of Christ (82%)
3: Lutheran (73%)
4: Baptist (Reformed/Particular/Calvinistic) (71%)
5: Anglican/Episcopal/Church of England (67%)
6: Eastern Orthodox (65%)
7: Roman Catholic (59%)
8: Church of Christ/Campbellite (51%)
9: Methodist/Wesleyan/Nazarene (45%)
10: Seventh-Day Adventist (30%)
11: Baptist (non-Calvinistic)/Plymouth Brethren/Fundamentalist (21%)
12: Pentecostal/Charismatic/Assemblies of God (12%)
13: Anabaptist (Mennonite/Quaker etc.) (10%)

Speaking of 71% Baptist...

94 proof Baptist, rather... I've been enjoying some Elijah Craig Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey lately. Very tasty. Elijah Craig is an interesting story. A Baptist minister that is (according to legend) credited with accidently inventing Bourbon, when he stored his Moonshine in some burned oak barrels in Bourbon County. Funny, when I went to the Landmark-ish Baptist Church they never mentioned that little tidbit of Baptist history!

Sometimes sore is good, and so are donuts.

I woke up sore this morning... sore in my back, shoulders, chest, hamstrings... but it's a good sore. Yesterday I did over 100 pushups, before noon, in sets of 20, 15, and 10. For those of you who may not have been following my pushup drama, I'm not claiming I did something amazing yesterday. I'm admitting I'm a wimp, trying to do more and more pushups gradually. Just a few weeks ago, it would have taken me until 9pm to do that many pushups in one day. Yesterday, 100+ before noon... and then I went to Karate class last night. There's a big tournament today, and last night was another class prepping the people that are competing. I'm not competing, but I'm thinking eventually I might consider competing in a future event. To prepare people for competing, we've been having mini-tournament type things in class, and I've consistantly been "winning" in kata. I love doing kata. Anywho, I noticed Mike Reeves, a Guinness Book World Record holder, hanging around the dojo. Man his arms were huge. That's the kind of guy who attacking him would be like attacking yourself. If I threw a punch at him, you know what would hurt? My arm (from his bone-breaking block), my chest and face (from his counter-punching), and whatever else he decided I didn't need to use anymore. So, I decided not to punch him.

Speaking of punching people, I read a very good article discussing the difference between fighting and self-defence, something even many "martial artists" don't seem to understand. There is some spicy language in the article, so if that ain't your bag, leave it be:

The Difference Between Fighting and Self-Defense.

I sent my wife for donuts this morning and she's still not back. I'm hungry. Last night we got a bottle of Riesling and polished that off... yummy. Friskiness ensued, but I'm not getting into that here.

What did we get in the mail this week? A flimsy, too small, Gi that I (shouldn't have) bought on Ebay, and Christopher Love's Treatise on Effectual Calling (which we're looking forward to starting tomorrow).

Kindness or Foolishness?

"I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." -- Neal Peart (Rush). 

So I walk into my kitchen as I'm yelling at my kids, only to find a stranger standing right inside my front door. She's a tall skinny, almost sickly looking woman, unkempt, looking frightened and defeated. My wife says, "This is Candy." She was in the alley behind our garage... my wife was taking out the garbage (like a good wife should) when Candy asked her for help. Candy says her husband is beating her, and that she and her children have no food (or money). Well, forget the money, sister. But if you need food, we got food. So we load her up with eggs and bagels and milk and, what not? (Notice the proper use of the too often and poorly used "what not"). I offered to help carry it over to her apartment. So, after concealing my .357 Magnum loaded with 7, (hey, I don't know if there's a creep looking for her, or if she's a junky leading a chump into the alley so her junky friends can jump me), I walked her a good way until she again, asked me for money (just an extra dollar or two). Never one to carry cash, I declined. Then, she declined my walking with her, saying she lived just a short way off into the darkness... and I watched her walk maybe another block or two before I decided I'm going home. Before we parted I commented that someone is always home at my place -- this served two purposes: 1. If she needs help again, we're home. 2. If she was scoping the place out for a hit, too bad, we're always home. We made mention of her to God in our family prayers that evening.

Erica (not Rosa) Parks

Ah yes! The babysitter is here! 

This deadly wound will be healed.

"... and all the world wondered after the beast."

Do you have what it takes to be the next Pope?

Which is Which?

Ok, so like this one is for my Canadian readers. So if you're from like Medicine Hat or Flin Flon, give it a whirl, eh? Put on your thinking toques.

One of these pictures is Philadelphia Flyers great Bobby Clarke, and one of them is my son Conner. Well, which is which?

Picture A:




Picture B:

Which is Clarkie, and which is Conner? 

Can't believe all the Pope worship going on. DrudgeReport has been one big tribute to the Pope since his death. Other news stations and channels and sites have been non-stop Popeness. But is anyone going to ask the REAL QUESTIONS, like... "Why is the dead 'Vicar' wearing a Santa Claus outfit?" I mean, think about it. Have YOU ever been in the same room with the Pope AND Santa at the same time? 

How big a sissy I am.

Do you see that? That's a screen capture I did from some footage of Bruce Lee. Yes, he was an actor. But he viewed his acting as a means to promote his martial arts -- he really was of incredible strength, speed, and ability. Do you see what he's doing in this picture? Just to mock wimps like me, he's doing pushups on TWO FINGERS, two fingers that just happen to be attached TO THE SAME ARM! I've found that I'm not alone in my quest for more pushups. This guy wants to do one million of them before he croaks. And here's another guy who was aiming to work up to 1000 pushups at a shot. I wonder how many he's up to by now.

"Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend." -- Bruce Lee.

No First Strike

"There is no first strike in karate." -- Gichin Funakoshi

"Do not initiate first strike. But strike first." -- Sensei Michael E. Odell

I've taken deadly poison!

I've had this sinus kinda cold thingy the past few days. Up until the past few days, I've just been ignoring it, and going on with work and training no problem. Yesterday, while blowing my nose, I blew out my left ear... OUCH! So I took some Pseudo-phed and did 150 pushups throughout the day (an act of vengeance on myself for being such a girly sissy girl). Today, it feels like my right ear is going to blow. Again, OUCH! So, I took some Belladonna. The poison, not the Stevie Nicks Album. One of our kids, I think maybe Daniel, had an ear infection as an infant, and Belladonna cleared it up pronto. So, perhaps this is the last post you'll see from me -- I just may have poisoned myself. But I figure the ear thing will be taken care of either way, huh?

(before you call the police or an ambulance... it was a very tiny dose).

Some choices don't have to be made.

Chose between...
Created by bhappy99 and taken 7915 times on bzoink!
Free movies for a year or free CDS for your life?	Free CD's, uh huh.
School or work?	Work
Christmas or birthday?	Birthday
Peanut Butter M&MS,Regular M&Ms, or Peanut M&MS?	Peanut M-er-M's
Dozen Roses or 3 boxes of chochlate?	Um, chochlate?
Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts?	To do what? My laundry?
Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?	Hmm... bad actor, or scientologist? Tough one.
Vanilla Pepsi or Vanilla coke?	Vanilla Coke
American Eagle or Abercromie and Fitch?	Cabellas
Driving or flying?	Driving
Roller skating or ice skating?	Ice skating
Apples or oranges?	Oranges
Paris, France or Florence, Italy?	Florence,
Punk'D or The Newlyweds?	Newlyweds was FUNNY as all get out.
Jay Leno or David Letterman?	Letterman
New York or LA?	That's like choosing a punch in the stomach or a punch in the nose.
AOL messenger or MSN messenger?	MSN
Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt or J.LO/Ben Affleck?	G-way and Ray-cho.
Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger?	Yuck, what a couple of mo's.
leaf raking or snow shoveling?	Snow shoveling
black pen or blue pen?	Black
WalMart or Target?	Walmart
picnic under the stars or horse carriage in the park?	ants or a smelly ride? I guess the horse thing.
chochlate chip cookies or peanut butter cookies?	chochlate chip cookies
Kobe Bryant or Shaq?	Shaq could eat Kobe by accident.
basketball, baseball, or football?	Football
Hiliary Duff (Lizzie Mcguire) Or Lindsey Logan(Freaky Friday)?	Isn't it LOHAN, you goof?
French fries,curly fries, or tator tots?	Curlies
Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?	Ben is a better name, but Damon's makes good ribs.
Phoebe, Monica, or Rachel(off of FRIENDS)?	Skanks every one of them.
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

Disappointment

At the risk of sounding very petty, I'm still quite disappointed at the number of pushups I can muster at one time. We did pushups tonight in class, and I left feeling like a girl. After weeks of working specifically on pushups, I'm a girly little girl.

On a far more fearfully serious note, my heart sank at the news of Mrs. Schiavo's death today. It caused me to look at my Shorter Catechism, and something stuck hard:

Q67: Which is the Sixth Commandment?
A67: The Sixth Commandment is, Thou shalt not kill.

Q68: What is required in the Sixth Commandment?
A68: The Sixth Commandment requireth all lawful endeavours to preserve our own life,[*] and the life of others.

* The proof text for perserving the life of others?

"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church," (Eph. 5:28-29).

As far as our wicked judges, who have used their power to ensure the death of the helpless, I'm reminded of...

Psalm 82
A Psalm of Asaph

1 God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods.
2 How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.
3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.
4 Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.
5 They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.
6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
7 But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.
8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.

Life at my place

8 People...

1/2 a roll of TP...

WHO WILL SURVIVE?

To all Ignorant People.

To all Ignorant People,
that desire to be instructed.

Poor people, your manner is to soothe up yourselves, as though you were in a most happy estate; but if the matter come to a just trial, it will fall out far otherwise. For you lead your lives in great ignorance, as may appear by these your common opinions which follow:

1. That faith is a man’s good meaning, and his good serving of God.

2. That God is served by the rehearsing of the Ten Commandments, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Creed.

3. That ye have believed in Christ ever since you could remember.

4. That it is a pity that he should live, which doth any whit doubt of his salvation.

5. That none can tell whether he shall be saved or not certainly; but that all men must be of a good belief.

6. That howsoever a man live, yet if he call upon God on his death-bed, and say, "Lord have mercy upon me," and so go away like a lamb, he is certainly saved.

7. That if any be strangely visited, he is either taken with a planet, or bewitched.

8. That a man may lawfully swear when he speaketh nothing but the truth; and swears by nothing but that which is good, as by his faith and troth.

9. That a preacher is a good man no longer than he is in the pulpit. "They think all like themselves."

10. That a man may repent when he will, because the Scriptures saith, "At what time soever a sinner doth repent of his sins," &c.

11. That it is an easier thing to please God, than to please our neighbour.

12. That ye can keep the commandments as well as God will give you leave.

13. That it is the safest to do in religion as most do.

14. That merry ballads and books, as Skoggin, Bevis of South Hampton, &c., are good to drive away the time, and to remove heart-qualms.

15. That ye can serve God with all your hearts, and that ye would be sorry else.

16. That a man need not hear so many sermons, except he could follow them better.

17. That a man, which cometh at no sermons, may as well believe, as he which hears all the sermons in the world.

18. That ye know all the preacher can tell you. For he can say nothing, but that every man is a sinner, that we must love our neighbours as ourselves, that every man must be saved by Christ, and all this ye can tell as well as he.

19. That it was a good world, when the old religion was, because all things were cheap.

20. That drinking or bezeling in the ale house or tavern, is good fellowship, and shows a good kind nature, and maintains neighbourhood.

21. That a man may swear by the Mass, because it is nothing now; and by our Lady, because she is gone out of the country.

22. That every man must be for himself, and God for us all.

23. That a man may make of his own, whatsoever he can.

24. That if a man remember to say his prayers every morning (though he never understand them) he hath blessed himself for all the day following.

25. That a man prayeth when he saith the Ten Commandments.

26. That a man eats his Maker in the sacrament.

27. That if a man be no adulterer, no thief, no murderer, and do no man harm, he is a right honest man.

28. That a man need not have any knowledge of religion, because he is not book-learned.

29. That one may have a good meaning when he saith and doth that which is evil.

30. That a man may go to wizards, called wise-men, for counsel; because God hath provided a salve for every sore.

31. That ye are to be excused in all your doings, because the best men are sinners.

32. That ye have so strong a faith in Christ, that no evil company can hurt you.

These and such like sayings, what argue they, but your gross ignorance? Now, where ignorance reigneth, there reigns sin; and where sin reigns, there the devil rules; and where he rules, men are in a damnable case.

~William Perkins, THE FOUNDATION OF CHRISTIAN RELIGION, Gathered into Six Principles.

Comfort from the Word

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was." -- 2Timothy 3:1-9.

More on Tea

So, I'm sipping my Tension Tamer tea, trying to relax (SERENITY NOW!), and I mention to my wife that this tea must be good for you because it's herbal, and everything herbal is good for you. And she asks me, "How comes that tea is called 'herbal,' but say, Orange Pekoe, is not 'herbal' even though it's [presumably] an herb?" Hmm... I said to myself.

Speaking of Tension Tamer, is anyone else a bit disturbed by the picture on the box?


Sipping of the cup of the scarlet woman sitting upon the dragon sure cuts the tension like nothing else, boy, let me tell ya! 

Springing

For those of you who believe in the "four seasons theory," the calendar dictates that it is now Spring. Yippee! Time for bunnies and robins and blue skies and sunny days and cool breezes. How am I celebrating? It's push-up day. On my Karate off-days, I'm working on my push-ups and tricep dips. My goal is to get up to 85 push-ups in one shot. Ridiculous for an out of shape married guy like me, I know, but stop laughing. Here's how I'm doing it. Day one -- 3 perfect pushups, over and over throughout the day until I get past 85. After a day of rest, cuz the muscles have to rest to get stronger, Day two is again 3 perfect pushups, again and again, all day long until I get past 85. More rest. Day three is sets of 4 all day long until past 85. Today is day four, and I'm doing sets of 5. I'm figuring that when I'm further along with this schedule, I'll be doing 30, 40, 50, 60 at a pop. Speaking of bunnies, how's this for some Yin and Yang: Bunny Tracks Ice Cream. It's named after bunnies, and has little bunny candies in the ice cream, so Bro. Bunnyloving will enjoy it (Yin), but it's full of chocolate which will give Bro. Lovingbunny a near heart attack (Yang). Oh the cruel irony!

Earl Grey Thoughts on Phone Calls

I'm sipping some Earl Grey this morning, thinking about two phone calls we received yesterday. The first call was from a relative of the "distinguished citizen" demographic, telling us that he's writing us into his will, and writing another family member out (due to dangerous habits that do not need to be fueled with more money). While this will not please the family member who was written out, I'm certainly thankful for this turn of events. This family member who is remembering us in his will is fairly wealthy, and while the amount of money that was mentioned is going to set us up for life or anything, it could very well go towards a nice piece of property and a bigger home. Good phone call.

The next phone call we got yesterday was from an old friend that I have not seen in 5 or 6 years or something like that. Initially, little Daniel answered the phone, talked with the person, hung up, and then proceded to provide false information about who it was, what the person wanted, etc. According to Daniel, it was Pappy (my dad), and he wanted to talk about Winnie the Pooh and Karate. Well, we *69'd the call and it was the old friend I mentioned. He says, "Hi Jerry, how are things? Are the kids keeping you busy?" Ok, decent start to a conversation I suppose. He goes on, "Look, there's a business opportunity I'm looking at that you would be very interested in. But it's a little too complicated to discuss over the phone. We're having a meeting on Tuesday at 7pm," HOLD ON! MAN, is that disappointing or what? Another cult like "business" that turns all your old and current friends into walking, living, breathing profits. I said no thanks after he refused to reveal even the smallest bit of information as to the nature of this business... I had to come to the meeting to find out that precious information. Talk to ya in another 5 or 6 years, buddy. Strange phone call.

Phone calls -- they can rock your world, change your life, bum you out, pick you up, tick you off, etc. A virtual roller coaster right there in your home. Which is why I pretty much never answer the phone.

Of a Snake and His Idiot

A Cautionary Tale (which most will not understand).

The Snake is evil, conniving, and he thinks that things in "his world" always work out for him. In "his world" he can take what is not his, ruin people, behave like an animal (which is what he is, after all), and after saying a few words, shedding a few snake tears, and waiting for a short period of time, everything is just supposed to blow over. Well, "his world" is his own perverted and sick mind. I don't live in his world anymore, and I pity those who still do live there. Which brings me to the Snake's Idiot. The Idiot listens to the Snake, and believes every word the Snake whispers in his ear. The Idiot believes that the Snake is not evil, everyone else is evil for not wanting to listen to the Snake, as the Idiot is addicted to doing. The poor Snake is getting a bad break, in the mind of the Idiot. The Idiot thinks that all those who've been bitten by the Snake are required to take the Snake into their bosom again, lest their sins go unforgiven. He learned this garbage from the Snake. A strange and sad tale indeed!

The Idiot needs to stop listening to the Snake, and the Snake needs to shut his mouth before someone shuts it for him.

The End.

38 inch Man of Sin replica doll!

"His gaze will inspire you." 
OR, totally creep you out!

A Warning Against Slight Thoughts of Sin

If your heart is not yet troubled for sin, if you do not feel the weight of sin now, it is a dangerous sign that you are reserved to feel the weight of sin in torment, to know what the meaning of sin is in the burden of it in torment. If you now have slight thought concerning trouble for sin, I say, take it as from the Lord this day as spoken to you, it is a fearful sign, a brand upon you that you are reserved to feel trouble for sin eternally.

~ Jeremiah Burroughs, The Evil of Evils, Chapter 51.

One to bookmark

A Table of the Chief Matters Contained in the Confession of Faith and Larger Catechism.

New kind of hurt

Ok, we just got back from class... and the whole left side of my body is pretty much shot. My left foot took another blow today (adding to the deep purples and light blues which now guild my foot), somehow I got a nice bubble on my shin (I just squished it down and made it go away), my hamstring is really sore, and something above my left hip hurts... I say "something" because I didnt' even know I had anything to hurt there... this is a new kind of pain that I'm going to have to research a bit. There's nothing like sparring the black belts to help you realize how bad you're stinking the place up. But we're still having a blast.

Until next time,

Yours, etc.

Deep thoughts (?)

It hit me yesterday, when due to my body aching I made the decision to wait another day before working out again, that right now... right this very minute... I'm as old as I've ever been. (closing eyes and sitting cross-legged on the floor, contemplating what this means)

My foot is quite bruised (again), but it looks (and smells!) worse than it feels. I just won some brand new foot pads on Ebay, so next time I do kumite (pre-arranged sparring drills), I'll be ready to rock.

The "What Rejected Crayon Are You?" quiz has been removed after I realized that some of the answers to the quiz are indecent. My apologies.

Daniel, re: Mrs. B.

"I wish she wasn't sick. Well, I want to read her a book. That would be nice." 

Tongues

The Evil Tongue
by Thomas Watson

"And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity." (James 3:6)

We finally went and did it.

The last time we had a family photo done like this, it was just me, Rachel, and little Cole. I guess I didn't realize how big we look, number wise... not super big, but we take up some space, that's for sure.


 

Speaking of photographs, I really like picture blogs. But I don't tend to link to them because you never know when amongst all the cool pics you'll find someone giving the finger or taking off their clothes or something. I found this one today. Some extremely cool pictures, and it's not even in English! The blog named after the place where the Devil does his laundry has some cool pics of inner-city life, but as for the name of the blog.... to quote the pseudo-rocker David St. Hubbins, "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."

Can you believe they fired him?

"They told me not to come back," he said to me.

"Really? That's too bad," I said. "Where did you work?"

He responded, "In the cafeteria at [a local hospital]. Those %$&*#@! They wrote me up three times and then fired me. The first time they wrote me up was for taking bacon and not paying for it."

With a suprised look on my face, I replied, "you were stealing bacon?"

"Yeah," he says. "Everybody picked at the food here and there, and they decided to come after me for it."

Incredulous me: "Oh, yeah?"

He continued, "The second write up was because I had my plastic gloves on, right? So, I was changing the garbage with my gloves on, and with the same gloves I picked up some cheese."

"Oh," I said. "So you were using the same gloves that you used to do the garbage, to serve food?"

"Yeah. But I only touched the outside of the garbage bag. Then the third thing was when I was changing this big bag of milk, and the nipple popped off and I spilled milk all over me. I yelled 'F#@%!' really loud, everybody in the cafeteria heard me. And that was the second time I yelled like that in about a week. So, they wrote me up and told me not to come back."

Ok, let's summarize: Strike one= stealing food. Strike two= touching garbage and serving food, in a hospital cafeteria, with the same gloves. Strike three= shouting the F-word so loud that all the people in the cafeteria turn around to see who shouted, TWICE IN A WEEK!

Yeah, I can't believed they let ya go, buddy!

I'm almost a girl, huh? Say it to my face!

Your Brain is 40.00% Female, 60.00% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Ok, so I guess if I'm not sitting my fat lazy rear on the couch, biting into a double-bacon cheeseburger as the grease drips down on to my belly, staining my already stained wife-beater style t-shirt, I'm almost half-a-girl?

In other news...

In my quest to get into some kind of acceptable state of fitness, my body continues to be a bit sore, but as I continue to workout, it's less of an injury "I can't move my leg" kind of sore, and more like a "I'm sore, and that feels GOOD" kind of sore. I'm quite pleased with how much of my Katas I remember after 15 or so years.

For the uninformed, a kata is kind of like Catechism, but for Karate. Katachism. The Catechism is a form of sound words that the student is to memorize word for word... even if they don't have complete or total understanding into all the nuances contained therein. Kata is the same way, but for Karate. Kata means "form." It is a serious of moves put together to teach balance, power, technique, and such things. The katas are memorized and performed exactly as they are taught. Here's a fantastic example of Wansu Kata, if you're interested and have the patience to wait for a download. Of course no actual fight looks like that, but that's not the point. There is self defense in the kata, but you have to be able to apply it. Consider it this way: Learning the moves of the kata is like KNOWLEDGE. Knowing the application of those moves is like UNDERSTANDING. Being able to pull out those techniques when they are needed, in less then perfect circumstances, when your caught by suprise or when your off balance, or when you don't have room to get into a strong stance, etc., is like WISDOM. If you want pure fighting, without learning a system, without bothering with katas, go learn Krav Maga or something.

Now, as I was saying, I'm quite pleased to have remembered Seisan, Seiunchin, Nahanchi, and Wansu kata in their entireties, and I'm quickly remembering Tokumine No Kun every time we practice it (see the late Tatsuo Shimabuku performing this kata here). Kata is fun, and good exercise.

What I'm not pleased with is my poor conditioning. I'm a bit of a weakling by nature, and I have alot of work to do in the push-up, sit-up, type things.

I'm proud of my boy Cole. He has some problems, you see -- namely social anxiety and facial tics. As I watch him in his class, there are times where he appears to be very frustrated because of having difficulty following what the class is doing. But you know what? Instead of turning around and walking out, he sticks with it. And he always says at the end of the class that he had alot of fun and learned some cool things. Yes! I'm happy to see the boy finding some success and reward in persevering in adversity.

Sorry for blagging so much about Karate and stuff. I'm sure many of you could care less about it. But hey, it's my blog and I'll kiai if I want to!

We're waiting for another decent snow storm today. I'm wondering if I'll end up getting stuck at work tonight... not because I can't make it home, but because some sissies won't be able to make it in for the night shift. Oh, well.

I leave you today with a section of the Heidelberg Catechism that we read together yesterday, at the end of the section on the Ten Commandments:

~~~~~~~~~~
Q. 114. But can those who are converted to God perfectly keep these commandments?

A. No: but even the holiest men, while in this life, have only a small beginning of this obedience;(a) yet so, that with a sincere resolution they begin to live, not only according to some, but all the commandments of God.(b)

(a) 1 John 1:8-10; Rom.7:14,15; Eccl.7:20; 1 Cor.13:9. (b) Rom.7:22; Ps.1:2; James 2:10.

Q. 115. Why will God then have the ten commandments so strictly preached, since no man in this life can keep them?

A. First, that all our lifetime we may learn more and more to know(a) our sinful nature, and thus become the more earnest in seeking the remission of sin, and righteousness in Christ;(b) likewise, that we constantly endeavour and pray to God for the grace of the Holy Spirit, that we may become more and more conformable to the image of God, till we arrive at the perfection proposed to us, in a life to come.(c)

(a) Rom.3:20; 1 John 1:9; Ps.32:5. (b) Matt.5:6; Rom.7:24,25. (c) 1 Cor.9:24; Philip.3:11-14.
~~~~~~~~~~
Good day, all!

Wanna be a cop?

I heard on the radio the other day that a local State Police officer shot himself to death in front of the barricks. And ugly story, really. The radio story seemed to be trying very hard to distance the suicide from the fact that he was a cop, pointing out that he was not in uniform when he shot himself, did not use a police issued weapon, and was in his own private vehicle. The story also said that some time earlier the officer was found to be involved in some kind of child pornography, which was put forth a possible motive. Still, at the end of the story, it was mentioned that more State Police officer die by suicide than by on-duty altercations with criminals! Wow, who woulda thunk that the real danger in being a cop is self-destruction? A sad, sad story. I like my job.

I'm old

Man, my legs hurt! Just came back from my first full-length karate class in maybe 15 years... and I feel the difference 15 years make. My legs ache, I kicked some guy's elbow with the instep of my left foot... ouch! I was winded and sweating within 5 minutes of warm-ups! But, hey. I made it. And with some regular exercise, I'm hoping to whip back into some kind of decent shape shortly.

You know what else is getting old? My car. It's got some rust on it I need to get fixed up before I can drive it Flintstones style.

It snowed.

Tonight after family worship we had a good discussion about assurance. The kids expressed that sometimes they don't feel they're going to Heaven. And so we walk the find line of trying to provide hope, without squashing the conscience. It was a good talk, and I'm glad my children are wrestling with these things at such a young age. I'm not even sure I cared about stuff like God and Heaven when I was a kid.

I'm old.

Another Day

Well, another birthday has come and gone (2/20). Last night we had a giant chocolate chip cookie with ice cream on it (picture a pizza, but made out of a cookie and ice cream). Yummy. I feel alot younger this year than I did the last few years. I've got a jump in my step, I'm not tired all the time (even though I've not been sleeping great). I'm starting to get some exercise again -- the three oldest chilluns and I are going to Karate class again tonight (D.V., of course). I was told I may be allowed to keep my rank instead of start all over at white belt -- that would be nice. When I stopped practicing Karate before I went to college, I was training to test for brown belt. I'm hoping Karate can benefits the kids as well -- Cole has some neurological things going on, that I'm thinking might be helped by some good training of the body.

Keep us all in your prayers, please. Despite feeling so good lately, I still get a bit hopeless about some things.

ONLY YOU...

Have the power to SAVE TOBY. Personally, I'd like to taste him.

(Sponsored by the Central Pennsylvania chapter of PETA -- People for the Eating of Tasty Animals).

A Psalm for the Downcast

Psalm 13
To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.

1 How long wilt thou forget me, Lord?
shall it for ever be?
O how long shall it be that thou
wilt hide thy face from me?

2 How long take counsel in my soul,
still sad in heart, shall I?
How long exalted over me
shall be mine enemy?

3 O Lord my God, consider well,
and answer to me make:
Mine eyes enlighten, lest the sleep
of death me overtake:

4 Lest that mine enemy should say,
Against him I prevailed;
And those that trouble me rejoice,
when I am moved and failed.

5 But I have all my confidence
thy mercy set upon;
My heart within me shall rejoice
in thy salvation.

6 I will unto the Lord my God
sing praises cheerfully,
Because he hath his bounty shown
to me abundantly.

(Scottish Metrical Version)

Talkin' 'bout love.

Ain't that so sweet it makes your cheeks hurt?

M'Crie

When the Confession of Faith and the Catechisms were agreed to, the Scottish commissioners took leave of the Westminster Assembly, and, after an absence of about four years, returned to Scotland, and gave an account of their proceedings to the General Assembly which met in August, 1647. This Assembly, of which Mr. Robert Douglas was moderator, is memorable in our history for having received the Westminster Confession of Faith as a part of the uniformity of religion to which the three kingdoms had become bound in the Solemn League.

The only reservation which they made in approving of this Confession, was in regard to the authority of the magistrate in calling assemblies, ascribed to him in the 31st chapter, which they understood "only of churches not settled in point of government;" asserting their freedom "to assemble together synodically, as well pro re nata as at the ordinary times, upon delegation from the churches, by the intrinsical power received from Christ, as often as it is necessary for the good of the Church so to assemble." This explanation was necessary, in consequence of the Erastian principles which had now begun to prevail in the English parliament, and to hinder them from settling the discipline of the Church. Whatever construction might be put upon those parts of the Confession by the rulers, the Assembly thus declared the sense in which they "understood" them. This act still remains in force in the Scottish Church, and is prefixed to all our copies of the Confession – a standing memorial of the jealousy with which the Church of Scotland watched over her spiritual independence as a Church of Christ.

We may here state, once for all, that the Larger and Shorter Catechisms, Propositions for Church Government, and the Directory for Public Worship, which had been drawn up by the Westminster Assembly, in conjunction with the commissioners from the Church of Scotland, were also received, approved, and ratified by the General Assembly, in several acts relating to them, as "parts of the covenanted uniformity." These acts of approbation by the Church were afterwards ratified by the estates in parliament; and thus so far as Scotland was concerned, the stipulations of the Solemn League were cordially and honourably fulfilled.

~~Rev. Thomas M‘Crie, D.D., LL.D.

I can see for miles and miles

Just got back from Pappy's place. He has a cabin overlooking the Shenandoah Valley (you know, past Lickdale). Here's a picture taken from the upstairs patio (the photo really doesn't do justice):


Now, I've noticed that while I reduced the stupid survey to 30 questions, other folks are going ahead and completing the complete 100. I feel betrayed, hoodwinked, bamboozled and led astray. Look, I don't have time to take a 100 question survey, ok?

Here's something funny (not funny ha ha, but funny strange): While attempting to open up Bro John's blog, my browser (Firefox) crashed, and wouldn't come back up. When I finally got it running again, all my passwords, all my bookmarks, all my everything was gone. Let this be a warning to you. The Eagles once sang "In a New York minute, everything can change..." and it's true. So watch it.

Take me home, country road...

Well, it's not actually home, neither is it a country road, and we only briefly pass through a portion of West Virginia, but we're leaving today to visit my dad (Pappy to the kids). He's the one with the cool cabin in the mountains. Originally the plan was to go down in the winter to experience the snowy mountain top thing. But, here it is winter, and it's been in the 60's at Pappy's place all week! I like that better, honestly.

So I asked Daniel (A.K.A. Frog Pillow Face) if he's ready to see Pappy. He responded, "Yeah, I really need to go shopping." OK. Daniel can be a bit of a goof, that's for sure, but sometimes in his goofiness he can be profound. Like the other day when he said, "I like God. I can't wait to go in the Bible to see Him." Yes, Daniel. Thank you for the reminder that if we are to find God, we must find Him in the Scriptures.

The Frog and My Headache

"My frog is lost! MY FROG IS LOST!"

That's the cry that woke me up last night at about 1am. Daniel, our 3 year old, climbed into our bed, screaming about his frog being lost. He woke up the baby, who started crying too. The frog is actually a pillow, a frog pillow. It's Daniel's favorite pillow. He had fallen asleep on the couch earlier that evening, and I carried him to bed, apparently laying him on the wrong pillow. Well, when he woke up to find that he was not laying on his frog, he flipped. I walked him back to his room and found his frog for him... and he went right to sleep. Me? Oh, I couldn't sleep, not for an hour or two or three, anyway. I probably got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Now it's the end of my shift at work, and I'm sleepy and my head HURTS... like sick to my stomach hurts. Yuck.

Stupid Survey

I found a survey appearing on some blogs. It was originally 100 questions long, which is too long, especially when some of the questions were more stupid, girly, and even inappropriate than the ones I included in this reduced version. I did not make up any of the questions, I just skipped about 70 of them.

1. Your name spelled backwards: dlareg or yrrej

2. Where were your parents born? I think maybe my mom was born in Jonestown, PA. and pappa was a rollin’ stone so I’m not sure.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded? A picture of a little red rooster puppet.

4. What's your favorite restaurant? Maybe Kclinger’s, maybe the Downtown Lounge, maybe someplace else.

5. Last time you swam in a pool? A pool of what?

6. Have you ever been in a school play? Yeah, I was in The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever, of all things.

7. How many kids do you want? Dozens, if God would so bless me.

8. Type of music you dislike most? The festive Spanish music my neighbors play loudly.

9. Are you registered to vote? I can’t remember. I registered once a long, long time ago. Does his expire?

10. Have you ever ridden on a moped? No. I’ve rarely even seen one.

11. Ever get a parking ticket? Yes, mostly for parking in front of my own home! Tyrants!

12. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Perhaps if someone killed me and did these cruel things with my cold dead body.

13. Farthest place you ever traveled? Oh, Mexico... Cancun.

14. What's your favorite comic strip? Don’t read them. Calvin and Hobbes is clever, I understand.

15. Do you know all the words to your National Anthem? Only the part they sing before baseball games. I’m sure there are verses that are hardly ever sung..

16. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Showers at night, Jerry's delight. Bath in the morn, employer be warned (Jerry's gonna be late for work).

17. Favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni like there’s no tomorrow.

18. Chips or popcorn? Chips. For my British friends, this is asking if you like crisps or popcorn.

19. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? Absolutely yes I have! And the skins too. And an apple leaf.

20. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Only the beauty pageant in my mind, and I finished last.

21. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? The whole tomato? Never, unless someone slipped it in my drink.

22. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes, at a karate sparring competition.

23. Are you a good cook? Boo yeah. I’d ask my family to testify, but they are in a state of euphoria after eating my food and are unable to answer right now.

24. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Where you think I live, New Jersey?

25. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Never once.

26. Ever throw up in public? I do not believe so, but if someone told me that I puked at Hershey Park as a kid I wouldn’t dispute it.

27. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Can I get half of each, maybe?

28. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, love ain't the word to describe what that is.

29. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? Grandma Dorothy, shortly before she passed away, July 2004.

30. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Yes, thick dark hair. A ton of it. Most of my children have been born with the same mop.

Little Red Rooster

If you see my little red rooster, please drag him home
If you see my little red rooster, please drag him home
There ain't no peace in the barnyard,
Since the little red rooster been gone

~~Willie Dixon.

The Karate Kids

The search for a karate school has begun. Last night I took my oldest four kids to one of the local martial arts schools to observe, at the invitation of the instructor. A nice gentleman, who was very kind to us. So, here are our choices:

1. "Karate" school #1. Actually, the form of martial arts taught there is Korean in origin, and so I'm baffled at their use of the term Karate (which is Okinawan/Japanese). Tae Kwon Do is what's being taught, and so the school should be called "So-and-So's Tae Kwon Do" and not "So-and-So's Karate" as it is currently mis-named. Tae Kwon Do is Korean for "the way of the foot and fist," and it was developed by Koreans to fight enemies who were attacking predominately on horse back, and because of that, the kicks tend to be aimed extremely high, with alot of jumping and flying around in the air -- not awfully practical for the Western world, IMO. Anywho, this is the studio we checked out last night. It's kind of a franchise deal -- high prices ($89 for one person! and the next family member only gets a one third discount, the third another 1/3 discount, and every other family member would be free), but not a great product. While watching the class, I paid special attention to the black-belts. I figure a black-belt is earned when the student has demonstrated proficiency in that particular form of martial arts, and therefore, if you want to know how this stuff is supposed to look like, if you want to see the end result of this school's training, watch the black-belts. Well, they were a bit sloppy, off-balance, and at times... just not really into it. This tells me that while this school is charging filet mignon prices, they are serving Mickey-D's hamburgers. We're likely passing on school #1.

2. Karate school #2. This school has the same identity problem as school #1 -- Korean martial arts peddled as being karate. But at least this Tae Kwon Do school also teaches some Hapkido, Aikido, and Judo (Hapkido is Korean, but Aikido and Judo are at least Japanese, if not exactly Karate -- all three of these styles focus on grappling, joint locks, pressure points, throws, etc.). I spoke with the gentleman who runs this school on the phone, and he seemed very nice, and he also invited the family to come out for a class -- but he wants us to participate in it and see how we like it. We may just take him up on that, but we'll see. Prices at this school are significantly lower -- $55 per month for the first student, the next family member is $50, then $45, then everyone else for free.

3. Karate school #3 is a true karate school. Okinawan Isshinryu. It's the school I went to when I was in High School (though they've moved to another location, and grew significantly in attendance). This style of karate is very unique. First, the fist is vertical, instead of the more typical horizontal. There are some good reasons for that, as a horizontal punch requires a last moment twist which makes it less effective when jammed, and because of the positioning of the arm when using a horizontal punch, the bones can be fairly easily broken with a good block. Neither problems are as severe with the vertical fist. Also, the strength and snap of a vertical punch is superior, IMO. Second, most of the kicks and punches are aimed at the knees, middle of the body, and occassionally the head. Unlike Korean "karate" which was developed to destroy higher targets, Okinawans developed karate to defend themselves against Samurai. Samurai were well armored, but very cocky. Often the only time to strike a Samurai was the moment they raised their sword arrogantly above their heads -- the time to strike is when the opportunity presents itself -- BAM!!! That blow to the chest might be the last blow they would ever strike, and if they missed, that sword was coming down hard. Most Isshinryu techniques seem to be aimed at the solar plexus. WAY more practical than kicking straight up in the air. I think I might start training again myself. When I looked at some of the old literature from my old school, I started remembering my katas, and much of the fun I had and good things I learned during that time. Look, who am I trying to kid. We're probably going to sign up at this school... even if I'm not sure what they charge anymore.

Lest we Americans forget -- many martial arts came about because an oppressive government took weapons away from the people, and so they were forced to fight with bare hands, bare feet, and with farming impliments. Don't give up your guns, guys. Don't give up your guns. It's one thing to fend off guys with swords with your bare hands and a long stick, but it's an entirely different matter to defend yourself with the same against tyrants with firearms.

The Big Nerdy Experiment

Everyone's blog is up and running. That's right, it's YOUR blog too! Now, I didn't make this up. I found it, and did not create it.

The blog is here.


To post something, go here -- the username is nerdherdtest and the password is gonhackit.

Have fun, and be good.

Everybody calm down, the Man of Sin is OK!

"No reason for alarm," folks. The Pope is recovering.

What a relief. Speaking of the Pope, here are the marks of Antichrist as noted by Andrew Willet.

Of the true markes whereby Antichrist may be discerned.

1. As he is called Antichrist, so he shall in all things be opposite and contrarie unto Christ. 1. Christ was most holy, and by the spirit of God which remained in him, was moved in his thoughts, words, and workes onely to that which was good: but Antichrist by the operation and instinct of Sathan shall be stirred up unto all kind of evill: this Pererius confesseth: & how this hath bin performed in that Romish chaire of pestilence, all the world seeth, and they which are not willfully blinded must needes acknowledge: what blashphemie, idolatrie, profaneness, uncleannes of life, murders, and other impieties have beene committed by that Sea, hath beene abundantly shewed elswhre so that that title, which the holy Apostle hath given unto Antichrist, calling him the man of sinne, 2. Thess. 2. 8. doth more fitly agree unto none, then to be Bishop of Rome. 2. Christ was humble and meeke: but Antichrist shall be most proud. 3. Christ was most obedient unto his father, and gave most honourable testimonie of him: Antichrist shall be most contumelious and blasphemous against God, and therefore he is said Apoc. 13. to be full of the names of blasphemie. 4. Christ came to preach the truth, Antichrist shall be the sower of all corrupt and false doctrine. 5. Christ said his kingdome was not of this world but Antichrist shall altogether seeke the pompe and glorie of this world. 6. Christ was the head of all good and holy men, and Antichrist shal be caput malorum, the head of the evill and wicked men. These notes and marks Pererius giveth of Antichrist, shewing wherein he shall be an enemie and adversarie unto Christ. All which notes and markes doe most fitly agree to the Bishop of Rome: for what place can shew more examples of all kind of wickedness then that? who is more proud and ambitious blasphemous then he? where is taught more false and corrupt doctrine than there who seeketh more the outward pompe of the world then he? and who els chalengeth to be head of the (malignant) Church but he?

2. Pererius saith that Antichrist shall be a great dissembler and hypocrite, he shall make a shew of three great virtues, chastity, abstinencie, and pietie. And who maketh a greater shew of these then the Pope? He would seeme to be so chast, that he forbiddeth his Clergie lawfull marriage, yet suffering them to practice secretly all kind of uncleanness: he would seem to be abstemious in forbidding the use of lawfull meates: and for his pietie he will be saluted and called the most holy father.

3. Antichrist shall corrupt many with his great gifts and liberall rewards: And so the Pope hath Cardinals hats, Archbishops palles, Bishops miters, and other dignities, with ample and large revenues to bestow upon his followers as Bishop Fisher in king Henries daies was rewarded with a Cardinals hat for his good service in maintaining the Popes supremacie: but the head that should have worne it, was first set up upon London bridge. Bellarmine for his great paines taken in defending of the Popes supremacie, and other points of Antichristian doctrine, was made a Cardinal.

4. Pererius addedth further, that whome Antichrist cannot winne with flatterie & gifts, he will seeke to overcome by terror and torments, lib. 14. in 11. Dan. V. 21. Such hath beene the practice of the Antichristian Prelates, as the former daies of persecution in England doe plentifully testifie: for first they would set upon the faithfull servants of God by flatterie and faire promise, and so not prevailing, they would threaten faggot and fire: this may be evidently seene in the examinations of the blessed servants of God, D. Taylor, M. Philpot, M. Bradford, with the rest.

5. Last of all, Antichrist shall deceive, saith Pererius, saciendo plurima & admiranda prodigia, by working many prodigious things: And this hath beene the continuall practice of the Papal Church, with forged miracles to deceive the simple people, as hath beene before declared: And hitherto I have followed Pererius steppes, shewing how his markes of Antichrist doe most fitly agree unto his Pope holy father the Bishop of Rome.

Pray for the death of the Pope, but more importantly, for the destruction of the Papacy.

My attitude? WHAT ABOUT MY ATTITUDE?!

How Your Attitude Ranks

Your Attitude is Better than 25% of the Population If you scored... 80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life. 60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you. 40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones. 20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good. 0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat!

How's Your Attitude?

This dumb quiz doesn't even begin to tell you about my attitude. You wanna know why I didn't shoot my cat tonight? Because I live in the city, where discharging a firearm will draw too much heat. You know, THE heat. I would have dumped him in a pond, but they're all frozen. Nevermind why I'm going to kill the pussy, it's frankly none of your business.

Groundhogs and other rodents

Well, early word is that the chubby ugly rodent known as Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow. Supposedly this means six more weeks OF WINTER, rather than the ordinary Spring is coming in six weeks. Wait, can someone explain this to me again? Look, if that furry little beaver just cancelled spring, I'm heading over to Punxsutawney for some "plinking."

In the meantime, if you have Shockwave, here are some more rodents for you to check out.

You people don't get it, do you?

I NEED NEW SHOES, NOW!!!

Shoes

"...so I walk in these shoes
when I feel it's the blues,
if it ain't it will do..."

~~ from Shoes, by King's X.

Most of the snow is cleared from the streets, but as usual, the parking lot at my place of employment is still good and slick in some places. I parked on an incline, and to save time and energy, I slid down the parking lot in a sustained, controlled slide, until I reached a portion of the parking lot where no snow/ice lay. Entering the building, I noticed my shoe was squeeking. When I sat at my desk, I noticed that the sole of my shoe is split right across the ball of my foot! I mean, I'm practically barefoot! I need new shoes, and I need them right now. If you're reading this, and have extra shoes, please send them ASAP.

This Life

"This life therefore is not righteousness but growth in righteousness; not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not what we shall be but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but it is going on; this is not the end but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified."

~~Martin Luther, In Defense of All the Articles.

Alcohol Test

I took an "Alcohol Test." Some of the things I knew for sure, and others I just winged it. Well, turns out I'm BOURBON:

Bourbon
Congratulations! You're 116 proof!

Interesting, if not true: "Compared to users who took the test and are and in your age group: 100% had lower proof scores."

Puritan Evangelism

The Puritans were fishers of men, seeking to awaken the unconverted to their need of Christ, to lead them to faith and repentance, and to establish them in a lifestyle of sanctification.

~~ Joel Beeke.

The best made plans yadda yadda yadda.

Sometimes things just don't work out like you want, and next thing you know women are angry, the toilet's overflowing, kids are crying, I'm an idiot drinking rum and Hawaiian Punch and still smelling like garlic, and people don't get their license plates. You know?

The internet is strange.

Chickens are awesome fun. I love chickens.Chickens make the Earth spin around the chickeny Sun. I love chickens (in case you haven't noticed already!) I am obessed with chickens.
Ever since chickens came into my life, I have been a happy person. chickens are my favorite. So is smiling, but chickens are better, obviously. I LOVE CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(An entry on a blog I saw today)

Close call! Cool pic.

Yow! Looks like a shark, eh? Nope! It's a dolphin!

Just for kicks and giggles...

At the urging of a friend of mine, I overhead paged myself at work... and made no attempt at disguising my voice. A co-worker came into my office and said, "Did you just overhead page yourself?" I said, "Yes. And I'm beginning to worry that I'm not going to answer."

Amish Tobacco Fight

Well, it wasn't exactly a fight, but today I had the pleasure of witnessing a discussion between an old order Mennonite, and an Amishman, about tobacco. Mr. H. is old order Mennonite, and Mr. S. is Amish. The following discussion took place within a conversation which was not about tobacco at all:

(Mennonite) Mr. H, speaking of an Amish young man, said, "He doesn't like to hear the Pastor preach, because the Pastor smokes."

(Amish) Mr. S. responds, "Well, he's wrong."

Mr. H: "Well, I'm against smoking tobacca. I was brought up that way. The body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, and we ought not to destroy it with tobacca."

Mr. S: "Many Amish bought farms, and land, and houses for their families on tobacca, so we can't damn it. It can be used for different things. Tobacca can be a good insecticide. I can't condemn it."

Mr. H: "When I was a boy all the families around us grew tobacca, but we never did. My father was against it. The other families around would ask me and my brothers to help them with the tobacca, but we were never allowed to. I'm just against it."

Mr. S: "Well, you should've been with us in the stripping barn! Oh, the fun we had!"

Time out a second while I re-light my pipe... Ok, good. Just so you don't get confused, a "stripping barn" is the place where the leaves are picked and packed after they are dried. Mr. S. and I walked together a bit, and I asked him if his family still grows tobacco. "Nah, not anymore. The money's not there. But my father was able to buy land and houses for all his children on tobacca." He also told me that when he was young, everybody smoked cigars, which he thought was just fine, as they tend to be smoked in moderation, "but now everybody's smoking cigarettes, cigarettes, cigarettes. I don't know how they do it." I told Mr. S. that I smoke a pipe, just a pinch or two to relax. "Oh, yeah," he said with a smile. And that ended our tobacco portion of the conversation. It was interesting, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to talk with these men, as I've always been curious about this topic and how the Amish and Mennonite in the area view it.

In other news: Tonight we had Chicken and 40 Cloves, and it was vunderful gut!

And I just got off the phone with J-Munny, which was really really nice.

5 Quick Things About Me

1. I once listened to Bob Dylan's "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" very carefully three times in a row. The song is over 10 minutes long. And I have it on right now.

2. I don't like eating outside.

3. I once won a bronze medal competing in the adult male division of a karate tournament, at age 17. I also got a bronze in the AAU East Coast Championships, but was thoroughly whooped by a guy twice my size at Nationals. I'm still embarrassed. Now I can barely beat up my kids!

4. I took German and Latin in high school, and don't remember any of it. Sigh.

5. I don't do "cold" well.

Free Image Hosting.

More on the phone call...

A little more about the draining phone calls I mentioned in the last post. A family member called to let me know, among other things, that I'm stupid, a cheat, and that the only reason I'm a Christian today, is because this family member "loved Christ first." "I loved Christ first!" Now, I have a problem with this assertion for several reasons. First, I seem to recall a verse in the Bible that says that the only reason I'm a Christian because GOD loved ME first, but maybe I'm remembering that wrong. Second, as a Calvinist, I have a hard time with any assertion that anyone's salvation is procured by any mere human's love for God. Thirdly, all credibility was pretty much shot before this last thing ever happened, but the icing on the cake came near the end of the "conversation" when I was bid farewell with a hearty "So f*** you!" Anyway, that's how things have been going with my "loved ones." So, I feel pretty sick of it all, and very much estranged and alone. Oh well.

Arctic Blast

Boy did I just have a draining couple of phone calls. Sometimes I feel like people are trying to drain me of any and all emotional attachment or investment in people. And sometimes I think they've succeeded.

Why do nice people die too soon, while other people live so long? I guess that's one of those mystery questions of life, like "Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?"

Speaking of being cold, it's time to get ready for the seasons first snow storm. The real snow is supposed to hit us just in time to bury my car, so I can shovel it out and drive to work during the snow storm. I think I need to move south where the weather suits my clothes.

Come on, let's have 'em!

The smell of bacon frying in the pan.... and my ugly mug first thing in the morning! Come on bloggers, let's see some first thing in the morning pics!


Yow!

My Pathetic Travels

I'm counting only states that I've actually visited... that is, that I purposefully went to and stayed for a while. I'm NOT counting states I merely drove through on my way somewhere else (West Virginia, states down the eastern seaboard on the way to Florida), nor places I got lost in by accident (Delaware), nor places people tell me I visited as a kid but have no recollection of actually going there (New York State).



create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.
I'm a regular Magellan.

Let's get one thing straight...

There is nothing wrong with a man taking Pamprin!

Let me explain. During this past week of flu-family-fun, there were a couple of days where I was having terrible stiffness and pain in my neck, shoulders, and upper back. Tylenol was not doing the trick. My wife recommended Pamprin. Yes, Pamprin! It's the only thing that works when she has those crampy thingies, you know... don't make me get into this here. She says they work even after delivering a baby. So, hey, I took some. Sho' nuff, it helped. My dad, after hearing of his boy taking such a girly medication, recommended http://www.aleve.com/. Aleve, says dad, works well for his back aches. Aleve is a much more manly medicine, so my wife went to the store today to find some... and she discovered a very interesting thing when comparing labels.

Pamprin: Active ingredient = Naproxen sodium 220 mg (naproxen 200 mg).

Aleve: Active ingredient = Naproxen sodium 220 mg (naproxen 200 mg).

IT'S THE SAME THING!!!

So men, you need not be ashamed of taking Pamprin. I know I have no shame in doing so.

Yo, Adrienne!

BAM! Word is, the missing tooth is "somewhere in the attic."

Samurai Fever

I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. How do you like me now? Dig this get up. You know you're one bad dude when you have a mustache on your face armor!

You know what? Maybe I should eat something. I think I'm a little delirious from being feverish and not eating much for the past few days. But if I'm not delirious, then you better FEAR MY SWIFT AND DEADLY SWORD! Yeah, I better eat something.

:(

Sick. All of us sick. Yuck.

Haiku

Haiku is Japanese poetry consisting of 3 lines -- 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second, and 5 again in the third. Write a haiku about your job, and put them in the comments.

Here's mine:

No soundness of mind
Found between these walls of mine
Myself at times too!

Where does this guy live?

Oliver Stone is blaming his flop of a film about Alexander the Great on "a raging fundamentalism in morality" in the United States.

Raging morality? Would someone please tell me where this morality is raging, cuz I might like to live there!

Pagan Curses on Covenant-Breakers.

It was missing for awhile, but I found it. The Ancient Near East, Vol. II: A New Anthology of Texts and Pictures, edited by James B. Pritchard. I’m reading from the Vassal-Treaties of Esarhaddon. Esarhaddon (son of Sennacherib) was the king of Assyria, and this treatise was a covenant between Esarhaddon and Baal, king of Tyre, binding Tyre to serve Esarhaddon and his princes, Ashurbanipal (of Assyria) and Shamashshumukin (crown prince designate of Babylonia). Typical of the covenants of the day, it ends with a series of curses to those who break the bond (it has been noted that Deuteronomy resembles the literary style of an ancient near-eastern vassal-treatise, complete with curses at the end for those who break the covenant). Some of the curses enumerated in the Vassal-Treaties are quite creative considering that modern curses consist of little more than commands to go do various things to yourself. Some of the more interesting examples of the curses:

84. Just as a honeycomb is pierced through and through with holes, so may holes be pierced through and through in your flesh, the flesh of your women, your brothers, your sons and daughters while you are alive.

86. May they squash you as a fly in the hand of your enemies, may your enemies mash you.

92. May they cause you, your brothers, your sons and daughters to go backwards like a crab.

97. Just as the squeak produced by this door pivot, so may you, your women, your sons and daughters never rest nor sleep, not even your bones should stay together.

103. Just as (this) shoe is slit, [… so may your shoe be slit] in a terrain of thorns […].

My personal favorite?

87. Just as this bedbug stinks, so may your breath stink before God, king, and men.

I’m not pronouncing curses on anyone, mind you. It’s just interesting to me how graphic these curses were, and how seriously even the ancient pagans viewed the crime and sin of covenant breaking.

A Prayer of John Calvin

... [L]et us prostrate ourselves before the majesty of our good God, in acknowledging our offenses: Beseeching him that it would please him to take from us the wicked affections which might turn us away from him, and from his service: and that we might forget all whatsoever might turn us from the right way of salvation, that we desire nothing but that we may attain to that everlasting life, which we look for in heaven. That it would please him not to suffer us to live here like brute beasts, not knowing to what end we were created in this world: but that we might acknowledge him to be our Creator, our Father and Savior, that we might subject ourselves unto him as his creatures, and obey him as true and faithful Children, until such time as he shall take us out of this world to make us partakers of that everlasting bliss, and immortal inheritance, which he hath prepared in Heaven, and which is purchased for us by our Lord Jesus Christ. That he will not only grant us this grace, but also unto all people and nations in the world, etc.

(The closing prayer of John Calvin after his sermon on Psalm 119:65-72 TETH).

Resolutions

I actually didn't make any conscious resolutions for this new year, but regardless of the imaginary deadline for resolutions, I suppose it's not too late to make some. I've not looked over this in a while... I forgot how good some of these are:

The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards (1722-1723)

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.

2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.

3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.

4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.

5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.

9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.

10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.

11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don't hinder.

12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.

13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.

14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.

15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.

16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.

17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

18. Resolved, to live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.

19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.

20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.

21. Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.

(Read the rest of Edwards' Resolutions).