Might be quiet for a while...

You'll have to forgive me if I'm quite around here, and online in general, over the next few... well, however long it takes. What started out as just looking around at the possibility of getting a new house, has rather rapidly become actually listing our house tonight, because we're going to meet with a seller tomorrow about signing an offer contract! We are very likely going to be buying a house before we sell our old house, which is a little bit stressful. We have alot to do around here, and alot to think about, in order to get this done. So, you may or may not hear from me for a while.

Yes, we actually found a house we can fit in, in our price range, in a great neighborhood, so we need to get this done ASAP.

We thank God for all of this, and ask for your prayers too!

Gun Free Zone

I didn't mention anything about the VA Tech massacre on this blog until now. I hesitate to mention anything for a few reasons, not the least of which is that when something tragic happens, it seems that just staying quiet a while is the wise thing to do. Too many people who think they can figure everything out tend to mouth off as soon as something happens. I chose to wait until I mouth off!

Two things make me sick. First, where have all the cowboys gone? How many tragedies have to happen before sissified America learns to get up from your cowarding crouch and FIGHT? So a punk with two PLINKING GUNS (.22 and 9mm!!!!) walks up and down the aisles and hallways popping people (3x per dead person, I read somewhere), having to stop and reload after his ten clip ran out each time, AND NO ONE BUM RUSHES HIM? I understand initial shock, I understand that it's easy to pretend that I would be the brave one in such an awful situation like that, but COME ON!

The other day my kids were playing sword fight at a playground, and a lady told my wife that her grandson is not allowed to play that (in a tone implying that my kids ought not to be playing such a violent game either). Yeah... WELL THEY GOTTA LEARN HOW TO SWORD FIGHT SOMEWHERE, LADY! What would she think about me taking the kids in the basement for target practice? Quit raising sissies, because this is a dangerous world, and I may need to count on my neighbors' help someday. Which leads me to the second issue on my mind...

"Gun Free Zones" -- rather, "Fish in a Barrel Zones."



I would hope that this would be a wake-up call, but I know my country sleeps deeply. The VA TECH case is amazing to me in that 1). The punk waited the legal time period to purchase his weapons. 2). The punk did not buy any illegal "assault weapons," just two plinking guns. 3). He had no "high capacity magazines," just a whole bunch of smaller ones. 4). He ignored the "Gun Free Zone" signs, and that little law against murder. 5). He proceeded to pick off helpless victims who obeyed the "Gun Free Zone" law. NO LAW AGAINST MURDER, NO LAW AGAINST GUNS, STOPPED THIS PURPOSEFUL RAMPAGE. And no law could have. "Gun Free Zones" only assure the assailant that there will be limited to no resistance during his murder spree. Nice, really nice. Well, you can take your "Gun Free Zones" and roll them up nice and tight because I ain't having it. Disarming innocent people does not protect innocent people. I'm taking steps to assure that I will not be "Gun Free" much at all from now on. One or two law abiding citizens with their handguns could have stopped this murderous punk in his tracks. But alas, Larry Hincker, a VA Tech representative, just about one year ago, commenting on a House Bill that was "shot down" which would allow concealed carry on college campuses, told us, "I'm sure the university community is appreciative of the General Assembly's actions because this will help parents, students, faculty and visitors feel safe on our campus." Those words sound like cruel mockery now. "Gun Free" laws which prohibit law abiding citizens from capably defending themselves are essentially saying:



I leave you with a link to a rant by Ted "Got you in a Strangle Hold" Nugent, on Gun Free Zones.

Kids Done Us Proud

There was a locally hosted Karate Tournament this past Saturday, and the kids had some good results in their first taste of a big tournament (there were folks from New York, Delaware, Maryland, and different parts of Pennsylvania). Daniel won first place for sparring (thanks to his sidekick), and third place for demonstrating his basic techniques. Conner and Calle took first and second place respectively in sparring, facing each other in the final match (Calle was the only one of Conner's opponents to score even one point on him, the final score was 3-2). And Cole took fourth place for his Wansu Kata, in one of the biggest divisions in the whole tournament!

Good job, kids!

Christian Communion Extended to All Christians

To all, to whom, in the judgment of charity, we may apply the name of Christian, we ought to extend our Christian communion.

With all such, we ought, as we may have opportunity, to pray and converse about religious things. Joint craving of Heaven’s blessing on the food of our table — praising God in company — united thanksgiving for the mercies of the bountiful Giver of all good, is the indispensable duty of all who name the name of Jesus, when in the course of Providence and opportunity is afforded, for such private and Christian communion. All real Christians love one another. They all love Christ, and cannot but love all who bear his image. And this is the characteristic mark of all who love him—they have his Father’s name written in their foreheads. All such will delight to mingle their voices, their hearts and affections, in religious exercises. They will speak of Christ—of the wonders of his love, and the wonders of his grace, with pleasure and delight. They will join in his praises. They will talk together in recommending him more and more. The theme is inexhaustible. They will unite in addressing him, for they love prayer, and they have one heart. One spirit actuates them.

--John Black (from a Sermon on Church Fellowship preached at the Opening of the Synod of the Reformed Presbyterian Church, May 16th 1816.

As someone who identifies with the Reformed Presbyterian Church, and who believes in and endeavors to uphold her principles, I must confess that I have not seen a whole lot of good stuff on this subject of Christian Communion from Covenanter camps around today. Much is produced in defense of maintaining a separate ecclesiastical standing -- which is indeed important too -- but given that so many today perceive Reformed Presbyterians as being overly condemning of believers in other denominations, unloving towards Christians in other churches, unwilling to have "familiar fellowship" with the brethren associated with other branches of the Visible Church, it sure would be nice to see some emphasis on the love and brotherhood we share will all who credibly profess the Name of Jesus Christ.

Let me say this as simply as I can: I LOVE ALL THE BRETHREN (Lord, enlarge my heart for thy people, and help thou my want of love)!

Just between you and me...

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I have an experiment going on. You might think I'm weird, or strange, or even dirty!

I stopped washing my hair... two weeks ago! I've been thoroughly rinsing my hair in the shower, but no soap or shampoo has touched my hair in about two weeks now. I don't plan on ever using shampoo again!

I read an article by a guy who says he stopped using shampoo 10 years ago, and his theory is that if stop stripping your hair of your natural oils, you will stop making excess oils. I'm only two weeks in, but I think this guy is on to something. The first couple days were a little greasy, but ever since my hair has been soft, workable, pleasant smelling, and the chicks really dig it.

So, are you up to taking the no shampoo challenge?

Building air-castle upon air-castle!

He who goes about whining all day long about some
imaginary drawbacks in the sphere which Providence
has assigned him—when all the while he is situated
so much better than thousands around—is a suicide
of his own happiness! He is also impeaching the
faithfulness of the Supreme Ordainer and Disposer.

One half of life's enjoyment is eaten out by this sinful
craving after what cannot be obtained—the desire for
something supposed to be better. Yes, but when "the
better" is reached, there is the yearning for an imagined
"better" still. This is building air-castle upon air-castle!

If in these days there be one household demon more
than another which needs to be exorcised —it is the
demon of discontent!

Oh, for the spirit of Paul—poor and lonely prisoner in
Rome as he was—an apparent bankrupt in all that the
world deems wealth and affluence—yet who could make
this entry in his letter to his Philippian friends—"I have
learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
At the moment I have all I need—more than I need!"

--John MacDuff. Thoughts for the Quiet Hour, 1895.

A Kiss this Sabbath Morning, of April 1st.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” Song of Solomon 1:2

For several days we have been dwelling upon the Saviour’s passion, and for some little time to come we shall linger there. In beginning a new month, let us seek the same desires after our Lord as those which glowed in the heart of the elect spouse. See how she leaps at once to him; there are no prefatory words; she does not even mention his name; she is in the heart of her theme at once, for she speaks of him who was the only him in the world to her. How bold is her love! it was much condescension which permitted the weeping penitent to anoint his feet with spikenard—it was rich love which allowed the gentle Mary to sit at his feet and learn of him—but here, love, strong, fervent love, aspires to higher tokens of regard, and closer signs of fellowship. Esther trembled in the presence of Ahasuerus, but the spouse in joyful liberty of perfect love knows no fear. If we have received the same free spirit, we also may ask the like. By kisses we suppose to be intended those varied manifestations of affection by which the believer is made to enjoy the love of Jesus. The kiss of reconciliation we enjoyed at our conversion, and it was sweet as honey dropping from the comb. The kiss of acceptance is still warm on our brow, as we know that he hath accepted our persons and our works through rich grace. The kiss of daily, present communion, is that which we pant after to be repeated day after day, till it is changed into the kiss of reception, which removes the soul from earth, and the kiss of consummation which fills it with the joy of heaven. Faith is our walk, but fellowship sensibly felt is our rest. Faith is the road, but communion with Jesus is the well from which the pilgrim drinks. O lover of our souls, be not strange to us; let the lips of thy blessing meet the lips of our asking; let the lips of thy fulness touch the lips of our need, and straightway the kiss will be effected.

--Charles H. Spurgeon, the morning reading for April 1st, from Morning and Evening: Daily Readings.

30 second Judo Lesson

Now pay attention...

More from the snake (would someone just bonk the snake's head, please!)

The wind is whispering that the snake is at it again, trying to find more idiots.

I knew it was just a matter of time. After all, it was over two years ago that I warned of the snake,

The Snake is evil, conniving, and he thinks that things in "his world" always work out for him. In "his world" he can take what is not his, ruin people, behave like an animal (which is what he is, after all), and after saying a few words, shedding a few snake tears, and waiting for a short period of time, everything is just supposed to blow over.

But it's still quite disturbing to think that more souls are hazarding themselves, and that the snake is so willing to hazard them too. Disturbing, but not surprising. A snake might swallow something many times its own size, because it has such a big mouth.



After feeding, the snake doesn't need to eat for a while. But eventually it goes out slithering around looking for another victim. If only Rikki Tikki Tavi were around!

You will please address me by my proper title...

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: His Exalted Highness Duke Gerald the Malleable of Hoptonshire by Leer Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Flammable is to Inflammable; as Duh is to No Duh.

From the "1+1 equals, oh yeah... TWO!" files come this brilliance:

Over the past couple days I'm wondering what is happening to my neon tetras. One day, there's ten. Then there's only nine. Then eight. Seven. Okay, now I only see five. What gives? No dead body's floating in the water. Hmm... a mystery.

Today I noticed that my Pictus is looking quite pudgy. This evening, he looks down right bloated.

Wow! What's going on with my tank. First my neons are disappearing, now my pictus has some "fat disease."

Then the light bulb went on, shining right on the grim reality of what's going on in my tank...

During evening worship, it looks like two more tetras "disappeared" (and the big fat pictus just sits there grinning).

UPDATE: TWO NEONS LEFT, AND ONE GUPPY NOW GONE. THAT FAT CAT ATE MY GUPPY!!! HE'S GONNA EAT ALL MY FISH!

The Cops at My House

A friend called us last night at about 10:30 pm. We usually don't get calls that late, but it was an old friend with a strange question, so that's how this all started.

While my wife's talking on the phone, little Gideon somehow gets his hands on the other phone, and is pretending to talk on the phone like his mommy. My wife hangs up, and then takes the phone from Gideon, who starts crying and screaming because mommy took the phone away from him.

The phone rings again, and I, thinking that it's our old friend again with another strange question, answer the phone with a really silly high pitched "HELLO!" Here's how the following conversation went:

Me: Hello!

911 Distpatch: This is 911 Distpatch. What's the problem?

Me: Huh? Someone called 911? I'm sorry, my baby must have dialed it. He was playing with the phone.

911: I heard screaming in the background. What's the problem?

Me: There is no problem. Like I said, my baby was playing with the phone, and he must have dialed 911 randomly. I'm sorry.

911: What was the screaming all about?

Me: The baby. The baby had the phone. Baby.

911: Well, you're going to have to explain it to the officer. I sent the police to your address.

Me: Thanks! (click). RACHEL, THE POLICE ARE COMING OVER! Fix your hair up, because they're going to think I was beating you.

So I'm standing on my porch, stuffing tobacco in my pipe, and I can see the lights flashing from two blocks away. Two police cars pull up in front of my house as I'm lighting my pipe.

Me: Hi.

Cop: Is everything alright?

Me: Yep, the baby had the phone and must have called 911.

Cop: Can I come inside just to make sure everything is alright?

Now, at this point I'm thinking "No. Come back with a warrant," but then I thought, "Jerry, you're innocent, so act innocent."

Me: "Sure, come on in."

Cop: Hi ma'am. Is everything all right in here?

Rachel: "Yes, the baby was playing with the phone and must have called 911."

Cop: What was all the screaming about?

Rachel: I took the phone from him, and he screamed because I took it from him.

Cop: How many kids do you have?

Now, at this point I'm thinking "I don't have to answer that. We told you what happened now be about your way, please." But then I said to myself, "Jerry, you're innocent, just act like you're innocent."

Me: Seven.

Cop: Seven! God bless you!

Me: Thank you.

Cop: Are they all in bed?

Me: Yes.

Cop: Do you mind if I just check them to make sure everything's ok?

(Jerry, you're innocent, just act like you're innocent)

Me: Yeah, sure.

The silent cop stayed downstairs, I guess to keep the peace or something, while I gave the big officer who did all the talking a tour of the house, and we dropped in on all the kids, who got to say hi to the nice police officer who was just making sure we're all safe.

You know what though... none of us really felt safe. I was innocent, and I acted like I was innocent, but it sure was creepy having two cops looking at me like I did something terrible, and checking out my house like I'm hiding something.

I'm glad he didn't ask to look in my closet.

Non-binding poll

Should Jerry enter the big karate tournament coming up on April 14th?
	No, you are too old, fat, and slow to win anything. Even girls and old people can whoop you.
	No, you have far better things to do with your time.
	Yeah, give it a shot. Maybe you'll suprise yourself and do OK.
	Definately, it is very important for you to challenge yourself.
	Huh? Look, I don't know. I'm not even sure what you're talking about, so why are you asking me?
pollcode.com free polls

For those doubting their regeneration -- Case 8.

Case 8. "The AFFLICTIONS I meet with are strange and unusual. I doubt if ever a child of God was tried with such dispensations of providence as I am."

Answer. Much of what was said on the preceding case, may be helpful in this. Holy Job was assaulted with this temptation, Job 5:1, "To which of the saints will you turn?" But he rejected it, and held fast his integrity. The apostle supposes that Christians may be tempted to "think it strange concerning the fiery trial," 1 Pet. 4:12. But they have need of larger experience than Solomon's, who will venture to say, "See this is new," Eccl. 1:10. What though, in respect of the outward dispensations of providence, "it happen to you according to the work of the wicked?" yet you may be just notwithstanding; according to Solomon's observation, Eccl. 8:14. Sometimes we travel in ways where we can neither perceive the prints of the foot of man or beast; yet we cannot from thence conclude that there was never any there before us: so, though you can not perceive the footsteps of the flock, in the way of your affliction, you must not therefore conclude that you are the first that ever traveled that road.

But what if it were so? Some one saint or other must be first, in drinking of each bitter cup the rest have drunk of. What warrant have you or I to limit the Holy One of Israel to one trodden path, in his dispensations towards us? "Your way is in the sea, and your path in the great waters; and your footsteps are not known," Psalm 77:19. If the Lord should carry you to heaven by some retired road, so to speak, you would have no ground of complaint. Learn to allow sovereignty a latitude; be at your duty; and let no affliction cast a veil over any evidences you otherwise have for your being in the state of grace: for "no man knows either love or hatred by all that is before him," Eccl. 9:1.

--Thomas Boston, from Human Nature in Its Fourfold State.

(This concludes this series of posts).

CARE!

Anyone else remember Really Rosie and Chicken Soup? Here's a clip I found of Pierre, the boy who didn't care, as told in song by the haunting voice of Carol King:

Family pushups

Last night we did family pushups -- kids, wife, everybody but the cat. It was fun, and here's how you can do them too, in a way that you do not wear yourself out, but still do way more pushups than you think you can.

I've been playing with Pavel's Ladder, a way to accomplish Synaptic Facilitation, also called the "grease the groove" method, credited to Pavel "the evil Russian" Tsatsouline. The goal is to do high volume pushups without approaching failure. Here's how we did Pavel's ladder as a family:

I did one pushup, and stood up. Everyone else dropped and did one pushup to match me. Then I dropped and did two (one, two), again everyone matches my two pushups. I did three (one, two, three), everyone did three. I did four, everyone did four. I did five, everyone did five. When someone says, "I'm done" or "I don't think I can do the next set," we all drop back to one, then two, then three, etc.

We did this as a family three times back to back to back -- completing two ladders of 5, and one ladder of 4, meaning that we all did 40 pushups within a few minutes!

I myself have done almost 800 pushups since Saturday (not including the pushups done in Karate class), by doing Pavel's ladder every other day.

Try Pavel's Ladder, and grease the groove baby!

For those doubting their regeneration -- Case 7.

Case 7. "I never read in the word of God, nor did I ever know of a child of God, so TEMPTED, and so left of God, as I am; and therefore, no saint's case being like mine, I can only conclude that I am none of their number.

Answer. This objection arises to some from their ignorance of the Scriptures, and the experience of Christians. It is profitable, in this case, to impart the matter to some experienced Christian friend, or to some godly minister. This has been a blessed means of peace to some people; while their case, which appeared to them to be singular, has been proved to have been the case of other saints. The Scriptures give instances of very horrid temptations, wherewith the saints have been assaulted. Job was tempted to blaspheme; this was the great thing the devil aimed at in the case of that great saint, Job 1:11, "He will curse you to your face." Chap. 2:9, "Curse God and die." Asaph was tempted to think it was in vain to be pious, which was in effect to throw off all religion, Psalm 73:13, "Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain." Yes, Christ himself was tempted to "cast himself down from a pinnacle of the temple," and to "worship the devil," Matt. 4:6-9. And many of the children of God have not only been attacked with—but have actually yielded to very gross temptation for a time. Peter denied Christ, and cursed and swore that he knew him not, Mark 14:71. Paul, when a persecutor, compelled even saints to blaspheme, Acts 26:10, 11.

Many of the saints can, from their sad experience, bear witness to very gross temptations, which have astonished their spirits, made their very flesh to tremble, and sickened their bodies. Satan's fiery darts make terrible work; and will cost some pains to quench them, by a vigorous managing of the shield of faith, Eph. 6:16. Sometimes he makes such desperate attacks, that never was one more put to it, in running to and fro; without intermission, to quench the fire-balls incessantly thrown into his house by an enemy, designing to burn the house about him, than the poor tempted saint is, to repel Satanical injections. But these injections, these horrid temptations, though they are a dreadful affliction, they are not the sins of the tempted, unless they make them theirs by consenting to them. They will be charged upon the tempter alone, if they be not consented to; and will no more be laid to the charge of the tempted party, than a [illegitimate child]'s being laid down at a chaste man's door will fix guilt upon him.

But suppose neither minister nor private Christian, to whom you go, can tell you of any who has been in your case; yet you ought not thence to infer that your case is singular, far less to give up hope: for it is not to be thought, that every godly minister, or private Christian, has had experience of all the cases which a child of God may be in. We need not doubt that some have had distresses known only to God and their own consciences; and so to others these distresses are as if they had never been. Yes, and though the Scriptures contain suitable directions for every case which a child of God can be in, and these illustrated with a sufficient number of examples; yet it is not to be imagined that there are in the Scriptures perfect instances of every particular case incident to the saints. Therefore, though you cannot find an instance of your case in the Scripture—yet bring your case to it, and you shall find suitable remedies prescribed there for it.

Study rather to make use of Christ for your case, who has a remedy for all diseases, than to know if ever any was in your case. Though one should show you an instance of your case, in an undoubted saint; yet none could promise that it would certainly give you ease: for a scrupulous conscience would readily find out some difference. And if nothing but a perfect conformity of another's case to yours will satisfy, it will be hard, if not impossible, to satisfy you; for it is with people's cases, as with their natural faces: though the faces of all men are of one make, and some are so very like others, that, at first view, we are ready to take them for the same; yet if you view them more accurately, you will see something in every face, distinguishing it from all others; though possibly you cannot tell what it is. Therefore I conclude, that if you can find in yourselves the marks of regeneration, proposed to you from the word, you ought to conclude you are in the state of grace, though your case were singular, which is indeed unlikely.

--Thomas Boston, from Human Nature in Its Fourfold State.

Book Finds!

Google has this relatively new Book Search feature, which allows you to find books online. I was playing around with it and found a good one I wanted to share:

Thomas Ridgley's Body of Divinity (Commentary on the Larger Catechism). You can even download the whole thing in a PDF file!

So, here's your assignment. What cool books can you find and recommend to me?

For those doubting their regeneration -- Case 6.

Case 6. "I see myself fall so far short of the saints mentioned in the Scriptures, and of several excellent people of my own acquaintance, that, when I look on them, I can hardly look on myself as one of the same family with them."

Answer. It is, indeed, matter of humiliation, that we do not get forward to that measure of grace and holiness which we see is attainable in this life. This should make us more vigorously press towards the mark: but surely it is from the devil, that weak Christians make a rack for themselves, of the attainments of the strong. To yield to the temptation, is as unreasonable as for a child to dispute away his relation to his father, because he is not of the same stature with his elder brethren. There are saints of several sizes in Christ's family; some fathers, some young men, and some little children, 1 John 2:13, 14.

--Thomas Boston, from Human Nature in Its Fourfold State.

Tell me about it...

"I don't want my heart to get broken, so I'm taking it somewhere else." -- Elisabeth.