Saturday, March 29, 2008

Score! (Needle in a hay stack)

I have the algae problem in my freshwater aquarium. Not the green algae that you just put a couple drops of chemicals in to kill it, but this "black" algae, which is actually a tenacious form of red algae. It's hard to get rid of.

Enter the Siamese Algae Eater -- one of the only fish known to munch on "black [red] algae." So I go to the pet store, and I find the tank where the algae eaters are held... well, let me explain something here first.

It's apparently quite rare to find actual Siamese Algae Eaters [SAE's] in pet stores, as they more frequently stock "false SAE's" and pawn them off as SAE's. The differences may be hard to pick up on at first glance (Images snagged from

<--False SAE

True SAE!-->

It's a good thing I usually read a little about things before I just dive in. Anyway, so here I am at the tank simply labeled "Algae Eaters." They all look the same... kinda dirty yellowish with a black stripe, all swimming around in an undifferentiated cloud of fishies -- except for one, sitting alone, on a rock.

"I'll take that one with the black stripe that goes from the tip of his nose to the end of his tail," I told the shop keep, as I remembered that as one of the distinguishing features of a genuine SAE, the kind that eats the algae blooming in my tank.

He's in his new home now, and sure 'nuff, he's eating that black junk like Pac-man. Wacka-wacka!

YES! I found the one genuine SAE in a field of imposters. I'm sure there's some life lesson here for us all, but I'll leave it up to you to ponder what it is.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Maybe I'm a terrorist...

Maybe you're one too?

All those laws that get passed under the guise of protecting U.S. citizens from the vague enemy called "terror," have resulted in there being so many people on the government's terrorist list to make the list meaningless to target any real terrorist threats. One of every few hundred American citizens are on the terrorist watch list? What a great argument to let me KEEP MY GUNS, because you know and I know that the government cannot protect us from so many of... well... us.

Sleep soundly, though. At least we know Osama Bin Laden (who's been dead for years) will NEVER be able to board that train from Philadelphia to New York.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

teh r34l krotty

I’m sore all over due to the supreme beating I got in karate class last night.

At the beginning of class, all the black belts were removed from the regular class and taken into “the back room.”

There I was shown some things I never saw before, and was hit, kicked, bent, twisted, and mangled. The simple self-defense moves we’ve been taught thus far were now supplemented with wicked and vicious finishing techniques.

I was kicked in the groin, swept clear to the floor, chopped on the neck causing a brief but scary flash of “nothingness,” had a thumb shoved up under my zygomatic process (a friendly though painful substitution for sticking the thumb in the eye socket), and was placed in several arm locks that I’m still not sure what they were as it’s hard to see with my face planted on the floor.

I felt like a white belt again – getting beat up by smaller dudes with greater skill, knowing there is something cool here to be learned, but feeling embarrassed at my inability to keep up with what was being taught.

Driving home I noticed my neck was slightly swollen on the right side, and when I touched my neck near where my jaw is connected, it shot pain through my jaw similar to that caused by super sour candy. Today might right arm feels bruised on the tricep (???from what exactly???), a bruise on the back of my right hand (there are a couple things that may have caused that, and my jaw and neck are sore.

I pay good money to get beatings like this, and it was fun.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Sirmon, Josh's Arkansas Cousin

I have to say a big fat thank you to Josh for providing my children with a song to sing every minute of the day all day long until I can barely take it anymore.

Here's Josh putting on a ~slightly~ thicker southern drawl as Sirmon, Josh's cousin he didn't know about: