Thursday, December 30, 2004

A Long December, and other rants.

"A long december and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last"

~~ A. Duritz.

I just haven't figured out what the reason is, I guess. There are many reasons why I hate this time of year. It's dark, which makes me feel lonely. It's cold, and I hate being cold. I hate Christmas and New Years even from my childhood. Drunkenness and lechery, disappointments and fighting, stupid people and tiny lights (both give me headaches). Oh, how I hate this time of year. As the years go by, it just seems like I have more and more memories and feelings and thoughts provoked by these long Decembers that make me feel sick. I'm tired and worn out from picking up extra shifts throughout this past month to cover for all the Christmass keepers, and I'm sure that's not helping how I feel. Man, I can't stand my kitchen floor (don't ask!). I've been thinking about moving, just so I never have to see it again. Oh, and my dreams. Don't get me started on the dreams I've been having. If my cat keeps peeing on stuff I'm gonna shoot him. You know what really hurts my back? My chair at work, that's what. It's been broke for like a year now, and I've asked for a replacement, noting that it would be cheaper for my employer to pay for a new chair than it would be to pay for back surgery, but... same chair, same sore back.

Okay, enough of that now. Let's end this post on a positive note:

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

We should be crying more

"The death toll in the tsunami disaster soared past 100,000 today - and is set to climb higher." -- This is London.

Somehow this tragedy doesn't seem tragic enough for Americans. I bet if Hollywood would make a movie about this event, it would make more Americans cry than the actual catastrophe does.

Don't my eyes have some tears left for these poor people?

It's a cold grey morning...

Cold grey morning without sunlight
Ghostly mist on the horizon
Empty visions of a world gone mad
Paints a picture so revealing
Through my window dark tomorrow
I can hear the sirens wailing
For the future we are holding on
as the ship of fools is sailing

Such a long time
Such a long time
We are waiting for a peace that's lasting
Reaching upward, sliding downward
Looks like just another
Cold grey morning

Hardly breathing, hope is fading
It's the end of the beginning
Children playing in the empty streets
It's a cold grey morning

~~Kerry Livgren.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

An Article


This is the name of the day on which is wont to be celebrated the idolatrous Romish sacrifice of the mass, in honor of the birth of Christ. As nearly as can be now ascertained, the day was first set apart for this purpose by the authority of the bishop at Rome, toward the close of the fourth century, or early in the fifth.
The following reasons may be assigned for its not being religiously observed by Protestants:

1. We do not acknowledge the authority of its appointment. If the religious observance of Christmas was divinely enjoined upon us, or if we had evidence in the writings of the apostles, that they observed it, or that they taught the churches which they established to do so, then we should feel ourselves obliged to observe the day. But as Protestants, we long ago abjured the authority of the Pope of Rome, and we still utterly repudiate his right to legislate for us, either over our consciences or our conduct.

It was an essential principle of the Reformation, which we hold to have been sound, and the only principle which could have been safe, to reject every thing which appeared manifestly to be of human contrivance, and thus to carry the church back, both in its doctrines and its practices, to the incorrupt simplicity of the apostolic times. But it is sometimes asked, What possible objection can there be to the religious observance of Christmas? That most salutary principle of the Reformation, which has been named, is a sufficient objection. If we once begin to burden the church with observances not divinely appointed, we open a door to universal license, and no man can tell what the end will be. But it is still urged, with a show of more than ordinary piety, "It seems so very proper to celebrate the birth of our bless Saviour." Yes, indeed—but it will not do for us to multiply observances merely because they seem proper. In a less degree, it would seem proper to celebrate the births of Moses, and Peter, and Paul, and many other worthies. If our judgment of propriety is to be the rule, rather than the Scriptures, there is no safety. We must adhere to the principle of the Reformation, and stand by the word of God, or we get at once in the old highway of Romish corruption. That is a dangerous path to travel in, and the true wisdom is to keep out of it altogether.

2. A second reason is, it is not known that Christ was born on the 25th of December. We have seen a very labored and arrogantly learned effort to prove that Christmas is the veritable day of his birth. But the truth is, that no one knows, and no honest man pretends to know on what day that event transpired. In the Greek church it is celebrated on the 6th day of January, and we see no reason for supposing that this is no as near the mark as the 25th of December. Although, therefore, if the precise day was known, we might assent perhaps to the propriety of bestowing some special notice upon it, we cannot now see the propriety even of celebrating our Lord’s birth on one day more than on another. And this, we suspect, leads to the true doctrine on this subject—that Christians ought to celebrate the unspeakable gift of God every day in the year.

If it had been God's design that the especial event of the birth of his Son should be memorialized in the church by an annual holyday, he would have taken care by his providence that the day should not be lost. It was his design that the day on which Jesus rose from the dead, should be observed as the Christian Sabbath, and we are therefore particularly informed that that event transpired on the first day of the week. But the inspired historian, in introducing the account of our Lord’s birth, approaches no nearer to a designation of the time than this—"And it came to pass in those days," &c. Luke 2:1.

3. We object to the observance of Christmas by the church, because we believe that its original appointment as a Christian festival was not only unauthorized but wicked.

It was foisted in among the observances of religion, along with many other things, for which there can be imagined no reason but a willingness to make a compromise with heathenism. The facts were simply these. The sagacity of the Romish church was not long in making the discovery that the chief obstacle in the way of an easy and universal embrace of Christianity, was the world’s natural dislike of the simplicity and purity of its doctrines and practices. The old heathens of the Empire were very loath to abandon their voluptuous and flesh-pleasing system for one which offered so little in return to gratify their appetite for display and self-indulgence. To the ecclesiastical Solomons of that time the idea occurred, that the work of conversion might be facilitated by rendering Christianity more attractive in its form, and more agreeable to the popular tastes. In a word, by compromising the matter, and carrying the gospel at least half-way in the work of conformation, to meet the reluctant idolaters. They had been accustomed to gorgeous temples, pompous ceremonials, a splendidly attired priesthood, and numerous holiday and festival occasions. Reasoning, therefore, as many reason now, for Christmas, that it is proper, and not in the least objectionable, the authorities of the Romish church thought that it was highly proper, and not in the least objectionable, to alter and amend the Christian system so as to render it more palatable to the people. We do not charge them with intentional wickedness, but with a gross error of judgment, into which they could not have fallen if they had had a proper reverence for the word of God, and just ideas of the spirituality of true religion. Unhappily, the doctrine had already obtained among them that the Scriptures were not the only rule of faith and practice, and the spirituality of religion was already entirely lost by the great body of its professors. Under such auspices the work of emendation advanced rapidly. Christian churches swelled into vast and magnificent temples. In the place of the few and simple rites of the apostolic times, august and imposing ceremonies were multiplied. The unpretending garb of the first preachers was laid aside for splendid priestly robes, and every imaginable occasion was seized upon for pomps, processions and festivals. To make the transition yet easier for the people, many of the principal festivals were appointed for the very days on which they had been accustomed to celebrate the festivals of the old religion, and were directed to be kept with the same observances. So it was with Christmas. The old Romans, at the end of their Saturnalia, which began on the 19th of December, had been in the habit of celebrating on the 25th of that month, their feast in honor of the birth of Sol. On that occasion they brought garlands and branches of evergreen from the woods, to deck the temple and altars of their god, and came together tumultuously to conclude the Saturnalian orgies with greater excess of riot. This was the day fixed upon for the Christian feast in honor of the birth of Christ; and that the change might not appear material, the practice was retained of adorning the churches with boughs of evergreen, and of making Christmas, in connection with religious worship, a day of special hilarity; and so it has come down to the present time—fun, folic, evergreens and all!


Friday, December 24, 2004

X-mas and Stockings

Boy is it slow at work so far today... whew. Funny how even "mental illness" seems to take a break on the holidays. We're working with a skeleton staff, which always includes me since I could not care less if I have off this time of year, and there is still nothing to do. Wouldn't it be nice if Lord's Days were like this? Everybody stays home from work, everybody taking a timeout from the noise of this crazy world, everybody (though mostly lipservice) thinking about, talking about, worshipping, JESUS -- yes, that would be nice. Oh, but no. This nation, along with the rest of the world, has chosen their HOLY DAY, and the Lord's Day lost that election.

In other news: Sometimes I feel empty, unloved, ugly, worthless, like a total screw-up... but then I have to chuckle when I realize... I'm wearing my wife's socks.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Old Fashioned X-mas

So I went to work yesterday to find that someone had decorated the office, including the area around and above my desk, with a string of lights. I responed by posting the notice above, originally posted in New England circa 1660. Yep, that's right. The Waybrights are celebrating Christmas the old fashioned way that the Puritans did in Colonial times. "Oh, that's sounds wonderful! Tell me what you're doing."


Monday, December 20, 2004

Fathers and Daughters

Fathers be good to your daughters;
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers,
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.

~ John Mayer

I meet some interesting people at work. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they break my heart. This time I sat down with an 18 year old girl. She was weeping, saying that she felt dirty and ruined, and that no one would ever marry her, and that she would never be able to have children. "I have genital warts, and I don’t know where I got them from." Well, turns out that this girl has been involved sexually with so many partners that she could not count them, since the age of 13. Somewhere along the way she contracted this nasty, and incurable, disease. What can I say? It’s certainly not impossible that someone will someday want to marry her. I’ve known of women with similar backgrounds who’ve married, having plenty of children, but she’s certainly chosen a hard road. I guess what hit me the hardest was her tearfully telling me that she never remembers her father telling her that he loves her, and never recalls him holding or hugging her. When I asked her if this lack of affection from dad had anything to do with her "looking for love in all the wrong places," she just bawled and slobbered while she nodded her head. It would be wrong for me to make an attempt to remove her own guilt, but with this kind of stuff starting at age 13, one must wonder where dad was in her life.

Fathers, be good to your daughters.

Hard Decision

Well, I guess I'll go to work... but MAN IT'S COLD!!!

In the meantime....

You are Confederate General Robert E. Lee, perhaps AmericaƂ’s most beloved general in history.  Your brilliant strategies and victories became legend.  You still lost the war though.
Robert E. Lee

What Civil War General Are You?
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Saturday, December 18, 2004


"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat."

~Sun Tzu.

Shocking Development

I've not been blogging faithfully lately, and I apologize to those who faithfully check my blog. I've been busy dealing with family, work, and my own personal problems, and while much of that stuff makes interesting material for blogging, I just don't have the time that I would like.

Isn't that strange? We live in the age of microwaves and cell phones and computers... we can do things in 5 minutes that it once took nearly all day to do in ages past, and yet WE STILL DON'T HAVE TIME!

Anyway, I've been getting electrical shocks sent through my head by the phone I use at work. I'll be talking, yada yada yada, then ZAP!!! OUCH! "What was that?" Oh, nothing, just mild to moderate electrocution. I'll be ok. So my supervisor asks me if I want a new phone, but I declined. I thrive on danger, you see. It's thrilling to know that every time I pick up the phone, I could require defibrillation or some other form of medical attention. That's right, folks. I'm living on the edge. And nobody's gonna stop me.

Well, off I go to the post office. We sold a large item on Ebay, and I now have a totally different perspective on shipping and handling charges. Man, I should have charged $100 or something. Oh well, we'll get 'em next time.

OUCH! I'm alright... I'm ok... What are you staring at?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


You have the Vermeer girl look. A Vermeer girl
appealed mostly to the old masters of the Dutch
school, who painted pictures of everyday life
as they knew it. With her fine, fair skin, she
suited a light, natural, dewy make-up. The
Vermeer Girl loved homely things, such as
homemade soaps and candles. The following
artists would have liked to paint you; Pieter
de Hooch and Jan Vermeer.

'Pretty As A Picture' - Which Artist Would Paint You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, December 12, 2004

The Prayer of Christopher Love

On The Scaffold Immediately Before his Execution on 22nd August 1651:

"Most Glorious and eternal Majesty, Thou art righteous and holy in all thou dost to the sons of men, though thou hast suffered men to condemn Thy servant, Thy servant will not condemn Thee. He justifies Thee though Thou cuttest him off in the midst of his days and in the midst of his ministry, blessing thy glorious name, that though he be taken away from the land of the living, yet he is not blotted out of the Book of the Living. Father, mine hour is come. This Thy poor creature can say without vanity and falsehood. He hath desired to glorify Thee on earth; glorify Thou now him in heaven. He hath desired to bing the souls of other men to heaven; let his soul be brought to heaven.

"O Thou blessed God, whom thy creature hath served, who hath made thee his hope and his confidence from his youth, forsake him not now while he is drawing near to Thee. Now he is in the valley of the shadow of death, Lord, be Thou life to him. Smile Thou upon him while men frown upon him. Lord, Thou hast settled this persuasion in his heart that as soon as ever the blow is given to divide his head from his body he shall be united to his Head in heaven. Blessed be God that Thy servant dies in these hopes. Blessed be God that Thou hast filled the soul of Thy servant with joy and peace in believing.

"O Lord, think upon that poor brother of mine, who is a companion in tribulation with me, who is this day to lose his life as well as I. O fill him full with the Holy Ghost when he is to give up the ghost! Lord, strengthen our hearts that we may give up the ghost with joy and not with grief.

"We entreat Thee, O Lord, think upon Thy poor churches. O that England might live in Thy sight! And O that London might be a faithful city to Thee! That righteousness might be among them, that peace and plenty might be within her walls and prosperity within their habitations. Lord, heal the breaches of these nations; make England and Scotland as one staff in the Lord's hand, that Ephraim may not envy Judah, nor Judah vex Ephraim, but that both may fly upon the shoulders of the Philistines. O that men of the Protestant religion, engaged in the same cause and covenant, might not delight to spill each other's blood, but might engage against the common adversaries of our religion and liberty! God, show mercy to all that fear Thee. The Lord think upon our covenant-keeping brethren of the Kingdom of Scotland; keep them faithful to Thee, and let not them that have invaded them overspread their whole land. Prevent the shedding of more Christian blood if it seems good in Thine eyes.

"God show mercy to Thy poor servant who is now giving up the ghost. O blessed Jesus, apply Thy blood not only for my justification unto life, but also for my comfort, for the quieting of my soul so I may be in the joys of heaven before I come to the possesion of heaven! Hear the prayers of all Thy people that have been made for Thy servant, and though Thou hast denied prayer as to that particular request concerning my life, yet let herein the fruit of prayer be seen, that Thou wilt bear up my heart against the fear of death. God show mercy to all that fear Him, and show mercy to all who have engaged for the life of Thy servant. Let them have mercy at the day of their appearing before Jesus Christ. Preserve Thou a godly ministry in this nation, and restore a goodly magistracy, and cause yet good days to be the heritage of Thy people for the Lord's sake.

"Now, Lord, into Thy hands Thy servant commits his spirit; and though he may not with Stephen see the heavens open, yet let him have the heavens open. And though he may not see upon a scaffold the Son of God standing at the right hand of God, yet let him come to the glorious body of Jesus Christ and this hour have an intellectual sight of the glorious body of his Saviour. Lord Jesus, receive my spirit and, Lord Jesus, stand by me, Thy dying servant who hath endeavoured in his lifetime to stand for Thee. Lord, hear, pardon all infirmities, wash away his iniquities by the blood of Christ, wipe off reproaches from his name, wipe off guilt from his person and receive him pure and spotless and blameless before Thee in love. And all this we beg for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen."

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Now playing...

Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven (as performed by Albert King)

Ev'rybody wants to laugh
Ah, but nobody wants to cry
I say ev'rybody wants to laugh
But nobody wants to cry

Ev'rybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to die

Ev'rybody wanna hear the truth
But yet, ev'rybody wants to tell a lie
I say ev'rybody wants to hear the truth
But still they all wanna tell a lie

Oh ev'rybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to die

Ev'rybody wanna know the reason
Without even askin' why
Oh, ev'rybody wanna know the reason
Oh, without even askin' why

You know ev'rybody wanna go to heaven
But nobody wants to die

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Know what I'm doing right now?

Making some country fried pork chops and gravy. Mmm... sometimes (sometimes, I say), it's good to be me.

Smell that? It's just about done. So I gots to get going.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Some kids.

Daniel and Cole with great hair.

Beautiful girl.

A Catechism Moment

ME: What is adoption?

COLE: Adoption is... adoption is....

ME: Adoption is what I'm going to put you people up for if you don't learn your catechism!

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Yeah, I'm a bard alright.

You're as literary minded as the Bard himself!
You are a complete literary geek, from knowing the
classics (even the not-so-well-known classics
and tidbits about them) to knowing devices used
in writing, when someone has a question about
literature, they can bring it to you and rest
assured; you know the answers.

How much of a literary geek are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You wanna know how many books I read in High School? I can remember finishing TWO. TWO BOOKS. One of them was the Bible. Never mind the other one. YES! I am a literary MASTER, so step off all you literary pretenders. Don't even speak to me, unless you wish to ask me a question about literature.


Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Oh, the lessons we learn...

Tonight I learned of the death of a man I knew from my childhood... a man who was kind to me at a time when not many people were being kind to me. I'm told by my mother that this man loved me very much, though I did not hear much about him for many many years... until tonight. The initial report on the news was that he was shot while driving his truck, and crashed into a garage. But the details I'm hearing are even more disturbing. "Butch," as we called him, is alleged to have been involved with another man's wife. Let us learn from Butch's folly. I'm being told that his head was blown nearly completely off, and next to his body lay a bouquet of flowers with a "Hope you get well soon, Butch" card attached. I have to admit, this certainly scores style points with that strict, dark, vengeful part of me. But what a tragic story about the end of a fool. A fool purported to have loved me. I'm quite disturbed and a bit conflicted about this whole thing -- I mean, you can't say the guy didn't get what he had coming, but grace and mercy and pity and sorrow should have a place in this story too.

Men, our Bible lesson for the night here at Confessions of a Raging Calvinist is:

"... whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gift." -- Proverbs 6:32-35.

Learn this lesson, men. Don't be this special kind of wicked fool.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I work in a Psych-Hospital!!!

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate that he wasn't actually trying to hurt anyone but himself. I'm guessing this kid is about 250 lbs, and when my co-worker and I opened the door to the unit, here comes that 250 lbs or so trying to plow his way out the door. His stated goal: To go kill himself. Well, any God-fearing man, and even many non-God fearing men, would not let someone follow through with such a miserable plan. So, the result is providentially staying at work for an extra 1 and 1/2 hour to "intervene" with this strapping lad. My arm, my left hip, and my back are sore -- getting old I guess -- but no one was any more seriously hurt and that we can thank God for. Now I have to lift my tired sore body out of this chair to go get some coffee. Back to the grind in about a half-hour. Good day, everyone. And may God keep you safe today!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Family Day Out.

"They took all the trees and put 'em in a tree museum and they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them."

~Joni Mitchell.

Yesterday I had a day off work, so the family jumped in the big blue beast and hit the road for a family day out -- Destination: Cabelas. On the way there, we saw signs for Roadside America, which I remember going to when I was a kid, though my memory has grown a bit foggy. So we stopped in to see what it was like. If you dig toy trains, you really should check it out. It's a huge room filled with a miniture village, complete with houses, rivers and lakes with fish swimming in them, airplanes, church buildings, playgrounds, caverns, and, of course, trains. Very cool. We spent about an hour walking around the place. It was really neat when they turned off the room lights and showed the village "at night." The bummer was the slide show on the wall with pictures of a bearded, robed, man... I assume it was supposed to be Jesus, but we figured it could just as well have been Peter or one of the other disciples for all we know. Don't look at the slide show, just watch the village at night. In the giftshop, we noticed there were papist ornaments for sale, including little statues of the Infant of Prague. Yuck.

But hey, the miniature village was nice.

Back in the van, on to Cabelas. We probably spent 3 to 4 hours in there. It's a giant store, complete with a mountain in the middle of the store, with stuffed animals (I mean real animals, shot dead, and stuffed) posing on the mountain, a safari display with animals similarly killed and stuffed, a pond with cool fish in it, a walk-through aquarium, a gun museum, a restaurant, and, of course, outdoorsy stuff to buy. I bought some Buffalo-jerky. Yummy.

Here's a pic of some of the dead animals:

I posted it using the new free image hosting website I found.

We had fun, and we got to see and eat dead animals, which is a plus.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Hot Amish Fun

Some members of our extended family met for a nice hot meal at a local Amish farm house. The King family opens there home like a restaurant, and provides great food and an old fashioned environment. The Kings have 6 girls and 4 boys, many of the girls help serve the meal. Here's what I ate: Turkey, bread stuffing, mashed potatoes, umm.. what else... oh, some kind of creamy noodle stuff, homemade bread and a peanut butter spread that is too delicious to talk about. Everything was yummy (it all tasted like more) but the coffee. Thumbs down on Amish coffee.

I'd post the website for the Amish Farmhouse, but... they're Amish. No electricity, no pictures of people, no cars, and no website. Funny moment of the night was when the Amish girl gave uncle Donny the plates, and said "Take one and pass it around." Well, he took one and passed it around. The Amish girl said "What are you doing?" Donny said, "You said to take one and pass it around!" She responded, "Well how would you say? You know what I meant!" Oh, she got in such a stew!

ACH! that Amish coffee... it chust isn't right, and I don'd know right how to help it. But we all had a vunderful gut time, ain't?

Tuesday, November 16, 2004


I got my computer working, which I'm happy about. But while I was looking for possible solutions to the problems I was having it occurred to me that perhaps I should upgrade my BIOS. So, I went to the BIOS people's website, and completed a form to get the BIOS upgrade. I just figured they would ask me some information and then I could download what I was looking for. But that's not the way it worked. I ended up getting an email telling me that my BIOS upgrade was waiting for me, but I had to call their toll-free phone number to complete the transaction. So I called, and was informed that they could mail me the upgrade for $50. I passed, not having a spare $50 to spend on something that sounds so strange as BIOS. A few days after the phone call, I received the following email:

This is the last chance to update your BIOS at this special price offer. So upgrade today......

It has been a few days since we received your BIOS upgrade request online. Due to customer demand, we have decided to offer the new BIOS upgrades via an e-mail download. is the Exclusive Authorized Upgrade and Support Center for Award BIOS. For the past 16 years, we have constantly upgraded thousands of motherboards and developed new BIOS upgrades for all the latest technology.

Based on the technical specifications you had submitted, we have an excellent BIOS Upgrade for your system. We have the brand new Award BIOS for your motherboard. The price is only $24.95 (U.S).

To view your system details that you had previously submitted, click here: View My System Details

The most notable features are:


Hard Drive Support up to 512GB* (48-bit Technology)

Windows XP Compliance for SP1 & SP2 (service pack)

Windows 2000 Compliance for SP3 & SP4 (service pack)

Windows ACPI 2.0* Compliance

Faster Intel and AMD CPU Upgrade Kit Support

Faster Input Output Speeds

Virtual technical support assistance

100 % Satisfaction Guarantee

Facts You Should Know About

*not available for all PCs

We will email you with a link to download the latest Award BIOS upgrade for your specific system. The file to download will be a zip file (>500 K) that includes the binary, the necessary flash loader, and easy installation instructions. Plus, you'll have access to hundreds of BIOS FAQs online, and free e-mail based technical support. Telephone technical support is not available.

The price for this service is $24.95 (U.S.). You can place this order through our SECURE website.

Here is the response I sent back to Dennis:

Dear Dennis,

I would very much like to upgrade my BIOS, however, I must say that I am greatly offended at what you are calling a "special offer." Here's how I see it: This special offer is a result of my turning down the original offer, which original offer was made knowing full well that a "special offer" can be made to those who reject the original offer. In other words, your company tried to sucker me into paying $50, for something you readily offer for $25. When I chose not to pay $50, you now come to me with the very insulting offer of $25.

How about this for an offer:

Since your original offer was an attempt to rip me off for an extra $25, you should pay recompense. I'd be happy to accept $25 from you, along with an apology, for your attempt to rob me of $25, and then we can call it even.

Come to think of it, how about you keep the $25, send me the BIOS upgrade for free, along with the apology, and we can part on friendly terms.

Hurry, this is your last chance! This offer won't last long!

Thanks in advance.


Let's see how that flies.

Monday, November 15, 2004


Elisabeth Kate was born 11/15/2002.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Computer problems

Dumb computer! The other day it started shutting down on its own after being on only a minute or two. Ok, so it's either the power supply or a heat problem. Put on another power supply. Same problem. Check the heat sink, Jerry! Check the heat sink! Oh, what do I see, but the bracket on the motherboard snapped off, so the heat sink/fan is not tight up against the processor. Excellent! Took it to a guy who rigged up something to make it tight again. Take it home, hook it up, heats up, shuts down. Huh? What gives? Call the guy back... "Hey, heat problem still a problem." He say, "no problem, 70 degrees is not hot, change your BIOS to keep computer from shutting off." Problem: 70 degrees (celsius) IS HOT! Let's see, divide by 12, add 32, and reverse it... about 153 degrees foreign-height!!! Check BIOS, only lets me choose "shut off at 50 degrees" or "Shut off at 60 degrees" or "Shut off at 70 degrees" or "don't shut off." So, just for kicks and giggles, I picked "don't shut off" and guess what? It didn't shut off. But according to Mobo monitor, I'm running hot hot hot. Touch the heat sink, feels cold cold cold. I'm thinking maybe I need to get some heatsink adhesive or sumptin, and stick that bad boy on firm and tight. But honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. Figures... this happens on the VERY NEXT DAY AFTER DISMANTALING MY SPARE COMPUTER! Calling on Calculus!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Concession announcement

It was a difficult decision, but after talking it over with my family, I think it's best for the American people for me to concede the election. My people tell me that I did not receive even a single vote, which I find to be quite disturbing and not a little distressing, but rather than demanding a recount, I think I'm just gonna drop the whole thing, step out of contention, and let the healing process begin.

The whole election thing made for some interesting conversation in the office. Most of my immediate co-workers are Bush supporters, though I imagine that hospital wide, you'd likely find more Kerry people. Me? Oh, I exercised my God-given right to refrain from voting. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that the lesser of two evils was elected, but I cannot give my support for an evil, lesser or no. I hope you understand.

This is Mary Ellen. She's a nurse, and she's wont to give you medications, orally or by injection, whether you need them or not. Yow!

I'm Jerry, and I authorize this message.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Still the man!

It amazes me when I think about it. God does not only give us things we need, but He gives us things we enjoy! What a good God, who gives not only food, but good food! not a home, but a nice home! not only a family, but a family I enjoy! All praise and glory be to the Lord our God who supplies our needs in such wonderful ways!

It is in this spirit that I submit the following....

I have this thing where I beat up all the kids at one time, just to let them know what's up. Yeah, I can still do it. I can still whoop all of them! True, after my asthma attack and my short-lived seizure like activity, I need a rest and a drink. But the kids aren't thinking about how old and out of shape dad is, they can only focus on their own pain. Keep the kids coming, cuz they're going down, and they're going down hard.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Trick or treat, or barf.

I went to work today, fully meaning to finish my shift out strong, but as the day went on, it became apparent that the illness which had befallen everyone in my family besides me and Daniel, only has Daniel left on it's "to do" list. My gut felt like I swallowed a big rock. The greener I got, the more my co-workers started telling me that maybe I should go home. So, that's where I am now. I feel like garbage. Here's the thing though... as nauseous as I am, I cannot seem to vomit. Sorry for grossing out my lady readers. Now, think about this. What would be more great than a visit from the in-laws when you're feeling this way? Furthermore, the little woman made chile for dinner (apparently in an effort to due me in once and for all, but alas the plot failed as I did not partake).

In other news, it was trick or treat night tonight. One of the popular costumes in the neighborhood was the popular and beloved witch. I told the kids that we should dress up like New England Puritans and chase the witches with nooses and torches. I, of course, was not able to chase down too many witches as my back and legs ache along with the nausea. Maybe next year.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Oh Well

"Can't help about the shape I'm in
I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin
Don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
Oh well..."

~~Peter Green.

Sometimes I get to feeling certain ways, and the words of others pop in my head. Today I thought to myself, "Oh well." Then almost immediately came the words, "Don't ask me what I think of you...." It's an old Fleetwood Mac song, like when they were an English blues band old. I guess I'm feeling kinda ornary today.

In other news: I have people I need to (and want to) get together with soon, but not alot of free time. Sigh.

Sometime I need to get on here and write some stuff that's more interesting or edifying or funny, but for the time being, this is all I got. Oh well.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Oops! Did I do that?

They're bombing LEBANON COUNTY! Missed me by that much.

FORT INDIANTOWN GAP, Pa. - Military officials are investigating why a jet fighter accidentally dropped a 25-pound practice bomb on a hiking trail a mile from its intended target in southeastern Pennsylvania.

No one was injured when the grapefruit-sized bomb fell on the trail Oct. 13 during a training mission for a pair of A-10 Thunderbolts. The bomb created a crater about 6 inches wide in the trail.

The plane that dropped the bomb was assigned to the 111th Fighter Wing at Willow Grove Naval Air Station, said Col. Chris Cleaver, spokesman for Fort Indiantown Gap, an 18,000-acre military training site managed by the Pennsylvania National Guard.

The plane has been grounded while officials investigate what caused the bomb to drop incorrectly. Investigators have already ruled out pilot error as the cause, Cleaver said.

The National Guard has been seeking permission to acquire 2,100 acres of Pennsylvania Game Commission land to act as a buffer zone for a new tank range. The base is located about 25 miles northwest of Harrisburg.

Ok, Fort Indiantown Gap is in the north part of Lebanon County, WHERE I LIVE!!! I feel so safe with the military here to protect me. Sigh.

She's Come Undone

Too many mountains
And not enough stairs to climb
Too many churches
And not enough truth
Too many people
And not enough eyes to see
Too many lives to lead
And not enough time

~The Guess Who.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Misty Mountain Hop

This is the home that my dad (the kids call him Pappy) built in mountains of Virginia, near the Shenandoah Valley. As you can see, it was a bit misty while we were there. Pappy calls it "low clouds," but I reminded him that it is actually "high land" that is causing the fogginess.

Look closely now, and you'll see a deer. There were deer in Pappy's yard every day we were there, sometimes four or five at a time.

Here's Pappy and his grandchildren (sans Daniel, who was awol for the picture) sitting in front of the fireplace. Cole looks like he's not having a good time, but that is not the case. Cole had a great time, but he fell ill the last day of our visit, and even vomitted a few times. So, he wasn't feeling too well at the time this picture was taken. We all had a good visit, and we look forward to going back again.

Travelling is nice, but it's good to be back home too.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Sermon Proof?

"We confess many of us by hearing Sermons, are grown Sermon-proof: We know how to scoff and mock at Sermons, but we know not how to live Sermons." ~ Edmund Calamy, Westminster Divine.

The prayer from which this statement is excerpted, along with many other prayers of the ministers ejected from their pulpits by the civil "authority" for their faithfulness to Christ, can be read at

A Complete Collection of Farewell Sermons: The Prayers of several of these Divines

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Jumbo and Grizzly

Now THAT'S what I call a pipe! Oh, and don't get me started about the Grizzly!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Hello, old friend.

It's funny how things work out sometimes. Not funny "ha ha," but funny "strange." We bumped into an old friend the other night, by happenstance, if you will. When we knew him years ago, he was always smiling, always laughing, and always able to make others laugh too. Not anymore. Now he hardly cracks a smile, and tears well up in his eyes if he catches himself saying something of a sensitive nature. His wife left him, which wasn't a suprise to hear because we knew there were problems the last time we saw him. He's raising a teenaged girl, by himself. Blind Willie Johnson once sang,

"Father will do the best that he can,
when momma is gone.
Father will do the best that he can,
when momma is gone.
Father will do the best that he can,
But there's so many things he just don't understand,
Motherless children have a hard time,
when mother is gone."

Now, the girl's mother didn't die, mind you. She just left, married someone else, and hasn't been heard from in quite some time. Sadly, our old friend didn't have anything kind to say about his daughter. He showed us a picture of a lovely looking girl. I commented, "hey, she's a doll," meaning to pay a compliment. He responded, "she's no doll," and I won't finish the rest of his sentence. He tells us he's not been reading his Bible or "walking with the Lord." There was something of a "rescue me" in his voice when he talked about this stuff. He says he's been abandoned, and has no Christian friends. "All the people I hang out with are non-Christians," which means that there is nothing but superficial talk and the passing of time between them. We'll be calling him and inviting him over for dinner. Hopefully we can offer something meaningful.

Later in the evening, my wife and I (oh, and little Jesse too) went out to get some hot wings, sandwiches (I had a patty-melt, and Rach had a crab-melt), and some "Ringside Fries" which are fries with bacon and red onions, smothered in melted cheese. Yummy yum yum.

Monday, October 11, 2004

My shoulders are still sore.

I noticed it's been a full week since I blogged last! The week flew by, very busy, very hectic at times. Ok, so here's what we did over the weekend:

We went hiking with our friends at "Govenor Dick," which for you real hikers is not really hiking, I suppose. But for us out of shape Waybrights, it's a hike and a half -- especially when carrying a kid or two.

The destination at the peak of the hike is a tower of about... hmm... 60 feet high or so. Noticing the sign, I had to convince my wife to put away the ropes and straps. We would have to put off rappelling for now.

Here's the view of the Lebanon Valley from the top of the tower.

Elisabeth and Jesse didn't climb the ladders up to the top of the tower, but my 4 weirdest kids did. I'm thinking of acquiring a cage like this as it could prove useful in certain situations.

Daniel descends the ladder, so Mommy can have a turn climbing up while Daddy watches the babies. Daniel ended up going right back up with Mom.

That's my wife and the 4 oldest kids at the top of the tower. Wave hello!

While I waited on the ground with the babies, Elisabeth got hold of the camera, and took a picture of Jesse and me. And that's what we did on Saturday.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Mundane and Coltrane.

"You don't come over. You don't help me. I know you hate me."

~~ Some of the bizarre and intoxicated statements made to me last week as I was visiting someone, bearing gifts. Sigh. No good deed goes unpunished.

I've not been in a mood to write much lately. I guess I don't really have much to say, except boring stuff like I'm planning on getting a haircut tonight, and I tried a Vodka Martini for the first time the other night and I liked it. Next time I'll try Gin. In two weeks we're heading down to Virginia for a few days, to see my dad who built his new house overlooking the Shenandoah Valley. That should be fun. But before that, we have two birthdays in the house -- Rachel's and Cole's. I think I'm gonna get Rachel two cheese steaks, and Cole some swedish fish. Well, I still have some more time to think about it.

I stopped by the "Jubilee Shop" which is a local thrift shop. I found an unopened Duke Ellington "Live at the Newport Jazz Festival" album, on vinyl, for $0.25! It was so old that in the inside sleeve there's this list of why vinyl is the superior medium for music. It said stuff like "Records are better because choosing to play an individual track is easy! Just pick up the arm and put it down where you want to start listening." I took it home and got the ol' turntable spinning. That was quite nice. I'm only very recently looking into Jazz, and I'm kinda easing my way into it. So finding some old Duke Ellington was good because he's not so experimental or harsh, as say... Coltrane. I'm not ready for Coltrane yet, but Ellington is kinda nice.

Alright, that's all I got right now.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Taffy? Come on!

Shouldn't I be a candy that I at least find some pleasure in? Taffy is the worst candy in the entire world. I hate taffy. Ah... perhaps it's time I come to grips with the fact that maybe I am taffy.

You're taffy!! You're a clever and kind person,
but you tend to hold grudges. You are not big
on dishing out forgiveness.

Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Ready for a long nap

I'm still paying for skipping a night of sleep. I need a vacation. One of them vacations where I don't get out of bed for a while. That kind of vacation. Not the kind where we bust our tails to get packed, haul across the state, unpack, enjoy a view hours in between the crying babies, and then turn around and come back. Those kinds of vacation require a vacation afterwards for recovery.

It's raining outside... the remnants of the latest hurricane. It's just a drizzle now, but I imagine it will pick up a bit as the day goes on.

Here's some more pics:

Note the toddler toddling on the edge of the counter, along with the baby in the tub also on the edge of the counter, the bread knife behind the toddler within her reach, the lamp (turned on!) right next to the baby in the bathtub, and all of this unsupervised!

Daniel enjoys a burger and fries with his Pappy.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Working Man

I got no time for livin'
Yes, i'm workin' all the time

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than i think i am
I guess that's why they call me
They call me the workin' man

~G.L. & A.L.

One bad thing about working in a hospital is that someone always has to be here. So, when someone doesn't show up for their shift, it's not like everyone can just run for the door to go home. Well, tonight the nightshift staff person is sick, and the back-up is not avaiable, so here I am typing this just before 3am at work... working an unexpected double shift. Oh, well... tired tonight, richer tomorrow.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Of Weather, Trials, Food, Grace, and What Not?

Since the remnants of Hurricane Whoever came through here and flooded everything, the weather has been just beautiful. I wish I felt better on the inside. Sigh... I'm so prone to sorrow. This morning I woke up and almost immediately went for a walk (I put some sweats and shoes on first) to help wake me up. Then I sat down with my Bible, prayed, and read (John 4 this morning), and a little Calvin by way of explanation. For breakfast I had a scrambled egg and some coffee. At work, the Drug Lords were good to us, bringing us lunch consisting of barbecued pork (think country-style spare ribs), and a tremendous chef's salad. I felf good for most the day, and then started feeling bummed just before coming home. Oh well, I've been better... but I've most certainly have been worse. So I'll take what I got and be thankful.

A co-worker of mine was in a terrible car accident, and she remains in a coma after breaking both her legs, smashing her pelvis, and sustaining a head-injury (closed or open, I do not know). Things are touch and go. Her name is Raye if you're a praying person.

Ah! Little Beth just smashed a light bulb. I gotto go clean up glass. I leave you with some words from Anthony Burgess on grace:

1. Let the heart-searching Christian distinguish between Grace in the idea or definition of it, and the real existence of it in it's subject. When Divines do write or speak about grace, they commonly describe it in it's abstracted and exact nature: even as Tully deciphers his Orators, or Plato his Commonwealth. Now because the people of God reade and hear such rules and definitions, they conclude they have not grace, because not according to such a description. But grace in a definition is one thing, and grace in the heart is another thing: The participation of grace is not as perfect as the description of it.

2. Let them constantly consider the difference between truth of grace and perfection of grace. Not attending to this many times breedeth perplexing doubts; perfection of parts is one thing, and of degrees is another. It's true this definition is doubted of, thinking that to affirm even a perfection of parts, though not of degrees, bordereth too much on Pelagianism, and that no man hath perfection of parts, but is to grow therein, as much as in degrees. But certainly if there be not a perfection of parts, then believers could not be said to be regenerated, to be new creatures, to have the image of God repaired in them; for these expressions do necessarily suppose the essence, though not the perfection of godliness. Let therefore the humble soul aspire and breathe after perfection, but take comfort in the discovery of the truth of grace, though in a low degree.

3. Let them make a difference between truth of grace, and the evidence or assurance of it. It's no good argument to conclude they have it not, because they perceive it not: Some diseases take away the sense of natural life, and no wonder then if there be such obstructions that do sometimes hinder the perceiving of our spiritual life; and although it be a known saying of Austin, That whosoever doth believe doth perceive and feel he doth believe, yet that is to be understood of a potential aptitude, if there be no strong impediment, otherwise grace and the assurance of it are many times separable, hence the promises are made to him that hath grace, not that knoweth he hath it.

4. Let them yet further distinguish between the having of grace absolutely, and the enjoying of it according to our desires. The godly man sometimes staggereth, questioning whether he hath grace, because he hath not as much as he would have and praieth for: Even as some covetous men think not themselves rich, because they have not so vast an estate as they have inordinately propounded to themselves.

5. Let not the godly man make the work of grace upon another mans heart the Rule upon his own; yet how often will the tender heart be making such comparisons, because they have not been wrought upon in such a manner, and to such a degree as others whom they know, therefore they are apt to doubt of all. But we reade in the Scripture of different conversions of men to Christ, and therefore we must not limit God to one way.

6. Let them not fail to distinguish between partial hypocrisie and total. There is no godly man but he hath hypocrisie in him, as well as others; but the presence and the predominancy must be distinguished, else woe to the most upright man that liveth. Lastly, This must not be forgotten, that even in hypocrisie or any other sin predominating, there must be difference made between a violent infested prevalescy, and a constant, total and quiet submission to it. David in the matter of Uriah had hypocrisie and guile of heart, even prevailing over him, but it was contrary to the principles of grace within, and therefore sin did not alwaies keep durable and quiet possession. In so much that a difference is to be made about a godly mans sins of infirmities; some are ordinary, but some (such as Davids we mentioned) are extraordinary; in these sinne hath more reigning power, yet it can never obtain a full and quiet possession.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Look what the cat dragged in!

Anyone who ever owned a cat should be able to relate to this. Cats like to catch things. Not only do they catch things, but they bat those things around and play with them, sometimes until the thing is dead. Then, the cat proudly brings the thing to display it before its humans. Well, over the weekend, we let the cat out, and laying at the door in the morning was... well... a gross display. There were three green, I don't know, sacks of some sort. Placentas maybe? Laying next to the three sacs was a little baby something. Here's a blurry out of focus picture:

A baby mouse, maybe? Did Harley mangle a pregnant mouse? Gasp!

Now, in case that grossed you out, I'll post a couple pictures that are more cute to help get that nasty image out of your mind. Here’s a picture of my brother Jeff holding baby Jesse:

Next is a picture documenting our status as unfit parents. Little Daniel is funcitoning as our counter-caddie, right next to the hot stove, a sharp knife, and the electrical outlets!


Saturday, September 18, 2004


Sometimes I'm hungry for a sammich. There used to be a great place to get sandwhich around here, called Mancino's. Well, they up'd and moved. Oh Vinnie! How could you? Where have you gone? Do you think they will love you more than I? Sigh. Vinnie made the best toasted Italian super, EVER. Know why? He made it with love, that's why. A&M does a decent sandwhich, but it ain't no Mancino's, I'll tell you that right now.

Sometimes I crave a good peanut butter and jelly. Jif and Welch's Concord grape is my fav. What's your favorite sandwich?

Uh oh, all the kids are crying. I gots to go.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Sinners choosing sin over God

"O sinner! Stop in your way and consider what you are doing. Know that all your life has been nothing else but a continual profession before all the world by your sinful life that you find more good in a lust than all the good in the blessed God to be enjoyed to all eternity." ~ Jeremiah Burroughs.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004


It's exercise, but for your mouse.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

A Phone Call

You know it's going to be an interesting call when it begins "I'm going to kill myself, and I want you to be on the phone with me when I do it." I enjoy my work, and I actually feel fairly comfortable dealing with these kinds of calls, but they can be stressful and they do tend to take an emotional toll. Being as jaded as I am, my first goal in such a crisis is to determine if this person is being honest, or if the person is simply doing this for some kind of secondary gain. It didn't take me too long to realize that this poor woman was not playing games. The woman on the phone was convinced that killing herself would end all the pain. I asked her how she knew that was the case, and she responded "because then it's over." I asked her is she believes in God and the afterlife, and she said she wasn't sure. I told her that she then has no idea whether or not the pain would be over, and that perhaps she should give this some more thought. She agreed that she would seek some help "one last time." She called from her cell phone while driving around in her car, so part of the stress was related to getting her to some safe place before she wrecked her car like she was threatening to do. After about 40 minutes, we ended the conversation as she, following my direction, walked into the local emergency room and asked to speak with a Crisis Intervention counselor. She should be safe for tonight at the very least, and likely for the next few days. Her name is Rachel if you're the kind of person that prays for people like this. Well, off to bed, so I can get some rest... I have to get back to grind in the morning.

My next post.

"...he not busy being born is busy dying." ~ Bob Dylan.

My clothes barely fit me anymore. I'm down to my tightest belt loop, and I have to sinch my pants on tight or they'll slide right off. It's kind of nice, but it concerns me sometimes too, as I'm not doing anything to purposefully lose weight, and yet I've lost about 25 lbs thus far. I hope I'm not busy dying.

I've purchased Jeremiah Burroughs' The Evil of Evils, and I highly recommend it. It's fairly easy reading, the chapters are short enough to read several in one sitting, and the subject matter is very very important. Burroughs demonstrates that sin is the greatest evil, and is to be feared, hated, and avoided above all other evils. Buy the book, you'll benefit from it. It'll help you make sure your busy being born, and not busy dying. While you're at Soli Deo Gloria, ask for the free book Why Read the Puritans.

I've been working extra shifts here and there to help make some more scratch. I've worked a few double-shifts, a nightshift (that was horrible... I still have PTSD from working the graveyard shift for 10 years), and this week I'm working an extra day, so I only have Lord's Day off. Too bad, as my buddy asked me to come shooting with him, and it doesn't look like I'll have time to join him. Time, time, time.

Got my annual TB test today, late as usual. Now that's excitement, people.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Past Lickdale

Lickdale, PA. No matter where my grandmother is giving directions to, she always begins with "You know where Lickdale is? You go past Lickdale." Everything is past Lickdale. Today, some members of my side of the family gathered at an eating establishment at Twin Grove to celebrate my grandmother's birthday. Which birthday? I heard guesses ranging from 72 to 79, so take your pick. Anyway, how do you get to Twin Grove? Why, it's past Lickdale. Sure enough, we drove past Lickdale and there it was. We even noticed a sign inside that said "Twin Grove Campgrounds -- past Lickdale." Think about it... no matter where you're going, you must always be going past Lickdale... UNLESS...
you already ARE past Lickdale. Either way, past Lickdale is applicable. The day was nice. The Feed the Waybrights Fund received a nice contribution which should help pay for our oppressive medical bills that were racked up when Calle had her eyes operated on, and when I was mysteriously ill in late December/early January. Our family got down on our kneeses and thanked God for this special provision. Soon, we may be able to purchase some beer, but the Beer Fund is secondary to the Feed the Waybrights Fund.

In other news... Daniel looked my dad straight in the face and asked, "Are you black?" I about fell off my chair.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

God hates Florida?

This is the latest projected track of Hurrican Ivan, recently measured as packing 165 mph winds. I've heard the phrase "the gods hate Kansas" in reference to all of the tornadoes they get there. Now, I'm not a polytheist, nor am I so bold as to presume to know the reason why afflictions come to these people and not to those, and vice versa. So, I'm not going to apply that exact phrase, but I can't help but get the feeling this year that God hates Florida.

Speaking of conspiracy theories, they interest me. Not that I believe them all. They just interest me. For whatever reason I take some comfort in thinking "maybe I don't know what I think I know." Strange? I suppose. Check out this macromedia flash site about the Pentagon attack.

Three Things Survey

Three Things

Created by andy and taken 8454 times on bzoink!

Three things that scare me:
2loud noises
3the idea of being unloved
Three people who make me laugh:
2my wife Rachel
3my kids
Three Things I love:
2good music
3good food
Three Things I hate:
1being sick
3mean people
Three things I don't understand:
1how albums, cassettes, cd's work
2how people can be so cruel
Three things on my desk:
1my computer
2a toy phone
3The Sermons of Samuel Ward
Three things I'm doing right now:
1getting ready for bed
2thinking about drinking something
Three things I want to do before I die:
1see my children do well
2get out of debt
3set better goals
Three things I can do:
1make a mess of things
2tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue
3beat up all my children at the same time
Three ways to describe my personality:
1mostly melancholy
2sometimes kind
3sometimes funny
Three things I can't do:
2walk through walls
3make myself invisible

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

Monday, September 06, 2004

I almost forgot... he smiles, too!

Perhaps Jesse's first deliberate smile.

Moochie Moo.

"He's a cutie to the mootie. He's a moochie moo." -- Calle.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

I'm NOT...

1. I'm NOT as fun as I used to be.

2. I'm NOT one to correct people when they call me by the wrong name.

3. I'm NOT looking for a perfect church.

4. I'm NOT as wise as I once thought I was.

5. I'm NOT the best friend you'll ever have.

6. I'm NOT the worst enemy you'll ever have.

7. "I'm NOT f-f-f-foolin'."

8. "I'm NOT a strong swimmer."

9. I'm NOT into fashion.

10. I'm NOT amused anymore.

11. I'm NOT sending my kids to public school.

12. I'm NOT available for comment.

13. I'm NOT a happy person, generally speaking.

14. I'm NOT voting this year.

15. I'm NOT where I want to be.

16. I'm NOT rich.

17. I'm NOT at my best with money in my pocket.

18. I'm NOT "a friend of Bill's."

19. I'm NOT very fast on my feet.

20. I'm NOT getting as much sleep as I need.

21. I'm NOT as patient as I should be.

22. I'm NOT as forgiving as I ought to be.

23. I'm NOT the safest guy you'll ever meet.

24. I'm NOT the most dangerous guy you'll ever meet.

25. I'm NOT a schismatic.

26. I'm NOT anti-American.

27. I'm NOT alone.

28. I'm NOT able to fix the old motor cycle sitting in my garage.

29. I'm NOT a fan of cotton candy.

30. I'm NOT very confident.

31. I'm NOT good with numbers.

32. I'm NOT the people's champion.

33. I'm NOT quite 34 years of age.

Friday, September 03, 2004

"You better come on in my kitchen...

... Babe, it's goin' to be rainin' outdoors." -- R. Johnson.

Once again, I'm reminded of how nice it is to live in Pennsylvania. Sure, we had a nasty tornado touch down in our county a few weeks back, but normally it's very quiet weatherwise. Today we're loading up the kids and heading north a bit, to Knoebels Grove. It's free to get on the grounds, which are cool grounds, and if you wanna spin around until you're dizzy, you can drop a buck or two and do that. There's a squirrel outside my window, trying to cross the street, OH! He made it, he made, calm down people he made it. Thought for a second there I was going to have to make some of my special roadkill chile. Yeah, sure, it tastes a little... squirrely, but I don't wanna hear it. Just be quiet and eat what's given ya.

Thursday, September 02, 2004


Get well, Mrs. B. We love you.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Sometimes I got nothing

The man tells me about his recent problems. We'll call him D____. Turns out, while D____ was busting his hump working the night shift, some snake slithered in and stole his wife. He's now struggling with suicidal and homocidal thoughts. He makes it clear to me, he's not just thinking of killing the other guy, no, no. "I don't just mean kill him, I mean tear him apart, rip him up, do horrible things to him and kill him." He's nearly in tears as he says this, because up until this happened to him, he was a relatively gentle person... ready to take personal offense rather than give offense to others. It's terrifying D____ that these thoughts and feelings are in him. He trembles, and closes his eyes. I just looked at him and said, "I'm sorry this is happening to you," realizing that sometimes I got nothing to say.

In other news: I got nothing against the practice of medicine, per se. I mean, Luke was a physician and all. But what's up with the interrogation session at every doctor visit? "Does anyone in the home smoke?" "You don't have any guns, right?" "Oh, but you do keep the ammo away from the guns, all locked up?" Ugh! What kind of Nazi garbage is this? Yeah, I smoke my pipe while I show the kids how to load and unload my .357 revolver, with dead batteries in the smoke detectors to boot! So what?!!! :P

A Quote

This quote appeared in the most recent email update from Soli Deo Gloria Books:

"Serve Christ; back Him; let His cause be your cause. Do not give a hair’s breadth of truth away, for it is not yours, but God’s."
— Samuel Rutherford

Monday, August 30, 2004

Sola Fide, from the Heidelberg

Q60: How are you righteous before God?

A60: Only by true faith in Jesus Christ:[1] that is, although my conscience accuses me, that I have grievously sinned against all the commandments of God, and have never kept any of them,[2] and am still prone always to all evil;[3] yet God, without any merit of mine,[4] of mere grace,[5] grants and imputes to me the perfect satisfaction,[6] righteousness and holiness of Christ,[7] as if I had never committed nor had any sins, and had myself accomplished all the obedience which Christ has fulfilled for me;[8] if only I accept such benefit with a believing heart.[9]

1. Rom. 3:21-25; Gal. 2:16; Eph. 2:8-9; Phil. 3:9
2. Rom. 3:9-10
3. Rom. 7:23
4. Titus 3:5
5. Rom. 3:24; Eph. 2:8
6. I John 2:2
7. I John 2:1; Rom. 4:4-5; II Cor. 5:19
8. II Cor. 5:21
9. John 3:18; Rom. 3:28; 10:10

Q61: Why do you say that you are righteous by faith only?

A61: Not that I am acceptable to God on account of the worthiness of my faith, but because only the satisfaction, righteousness and holiness of Christ is my righteousness before God;[1] and I can receive the same and make it my own in no other way than by faith only.[2]

1. I Cor. 1:30; 2:2
2. I John 5:10; Isa. 53:5; Gal. 3:22; Rom. 4:16

Q62: But why cannot our good works be the whole or part of our righteousness before God?

A62: Because the righteousness which can stand before the judgment seat of God must be perfect throughout and entirely conformable to the divine law,[1] but even our best works in this life are all imperfect and defiled with sin.[2]

1. Gal. 3:10; Deut. 27:26
2. Isa. 64:6; James 2:10; Phil. 3:12

Q63: Do our good works merit nothing, even though it is God's will to reward them in this life and in that which is to come?

A63: The reward comes not of merit, but of grace.[1]

1. Luke 17:10; Rom. 11:6

Q64: But does not this doctrine make men careless and profane?

A64: No, for it is impossible that those who are implanted into Christ by true faith, should not bring forth fruits of thankfulness.[1]

1. Matt. 7:18; Rom. 6:1-2; John 15:5

"When there´s lightning...

You know it always brings me down..." R.J.D.

On Saturday we got caught in a nice storm, with lightning and thunder, and big rain. After the storm, the kids spotted a rainbow, which was cool. Two girls came up to us and asked if we made a wish on the rainbow. Cole said, "no." Conner said, "no." Calle said, "no." I said, "no," and told the little girl that we aren't wishers and that wishes don't come true anyway. I hate to ruin a little girl's fun, but I figured superstition shouldn't be fun, and it's probably best to break her heart now. It'll only hurt more later.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Toad Wisdom

"You will be successful in your digestion."

~ words of wisdom from the toad.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Ok, ok, I'll tell you about some ice cream!

With all the hoopla going on about what ice cream I recommend, I figured I'd better put this thing to rest before there's some kind of a riot. I'm not saying the following is my favorite, but I am recommending that everyone give it a try. It's good!

Phillies Graham Slam

This is good ice cream. Turkey Hill's "Phillies Graham Slam" ice cream is, of course, named after the baseball team that hardly ever hits a grand slam, the Philadelphia Phillies, which are themselves named after a brand of cigar!

It's smooth, creamy, and delicious (the ice cream, not the baseball team, nor the cigar). The ice cream itself is graham cracker flavored, and there are swirls of graham cracker ripple throughout, and intermingled are these little chocolate marshmallow cups, which are yummy and should be sold just by themselves they're so good. If you see this ice cream, give it a try. Me and the kids sure tore it up.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Love Blues for my baby

I love the way you love me,
an' I love the way you comb your hair.
I love the way you love me baby,
Love the way you comb your hair.
If it was left up to me baby,
You wouldn't never get to go no where

~K. Moore (Keb' Mo').

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Knox's Dying Words

Excerpted from The Death of John Knox by Samuel Clarke.

In my life I have been often assaulted by Satan, and many times he hath cast in my teeth my sins, to bring me to despair; yet God enabled me to overcome all his temptations: and now that subtile Serpent who never easeth to tempt, hath taken another course, and seeks to preswade me that my labours in the Ministry, and the fidelity I have shewn in that service, hath merited Heaven and immortality: but blessed be God that brought to my mind these Scriptures. What hast thou, that thou hast not received? And, Not I, but the Grace of God in me: with which he is gone away ashamed, and shall no more return. And now I am sure that my Battel is at an end; and that without pain of Body, or trouble of Spirit, I shall shortly change this mortal and miserable Life, with that happy and immortal Life which shall never have an end.

To which Clarke adds, "Prayers being ended; he was asked, if he heard them? he answered, would to God you had heard them with such an ear and heart as I have done. Adding; Lord, Jesus receive my Spirit. After which words without any motion of hands or feet, as one falling a sleep rather than dying, he ended his Life."

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Let's get one thing straight...

Gymnastics is NOT a sport. Now stop your chirping and listen to me. I'm not saying it isn't athletic, and I'm not saying that it isn't difficult. I'm saying it isn't a sport. If there is music and a "dance element" to your activity, that activity is not a sport. If the "winner" of your activity is arbitrarily determined by judges whose job it is to figure out who did the best out of several identical performances, it's not a sport. A sport should be clear cut. Who can get to that line first? Who can score the most points, where doing a specific act earns you points? Who can lift the heaviest weight? This stuff is what sports is about, not muscular guys and gals prancing around in liatards, with announcers talking about how fired up the crowd is because of the music that was selected. That's some kind of queer party, not a sport. Having said that, I can't do any of that stuff they're doing. I'd pull a hammy or something. Oh, and here's to Canada's gold medal in... what was it in? Oh, well. I guess the Winter Games are what's important there. Speaking of which...
Figure skating is NOT a sport.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Go figure, I'm Augustine's Confessions.

You're Confessions!

by St. Augustine

You're a sinner, you're a saint, you do not feel ashamed. Well, you might feel a little ashamed of your past, but it did such a good job of teaching you what not to do. Now you've become a devout Christian and have spent more time ruminating on the world to come rather than worldly pleasures. Your realizations and ability to change will bring reverence upon you despite your hedonistic transgressions. Florida will honor you most in the end.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I'm not all that thrilled with the above description of what it means to be Augustine's Confessions, but it's a pretty cool result to get from one of these stupid quizzes.

Friday, August 20, 2004

The bar's open

"Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more." -- Proverbs 31:6, 7.

Ok, I'm serving up drinks and listening to your sob stories. Drunks will be tossed out, so mind your P's and Q's.

What'll ya have, and what's your sorry tale?

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Frog in my throat, frog in my car.

I'm still hacking up a lung, but what I'd really rather blog about the frog. Last night, as I was was pulling out of work, I noticed a medium sized frog hopping across the road. Hop, hop, ho! I think I hit it. Wait, no I didn't. Pull over, cuz I'm catching that bad boy for my kids. What to put it in? Ah, I'll just hold it until I get home. It's only 15 minutes. Hey, this thing's slimey. Whoop, there it went, down on the floor. Oh, well, I guess it's safe there for 10 more minutes. So, I get home, and turn on the dome light, and .... where's the frog? Well, it's probably under the seat. I'll get a flashlight and get down on the floor.... huh? no frog. Couldn't find it last night, after a detailed search. Couldn't find it this morning with the help of the kids, in another detailed search. I am the laughing stock of ... well, myself. I've become my own proverb: The fool cannot find a frog in a car with both hands and flashlight. Write that down, people.

Oh well, I guess eventually I'll find it when the smell comes into play. "Jerry, what do you have in the car that smells like a dead frog?" That'd be the dead frog, darling, wanna help me find it?

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

The Alabama Weather Blog

The Alabama Weather Blog

I'm just checking out the new blogger thingy at the top of blogspot blogs. Blog blog blog. Instead of advertisements, there are not buttons that say "next blog" (which, I guess randomly, goes to another blog to read), and there's also a "blog this" button. So, I hit "next blog" and got to the Alabama Weather Blog, and then I hit "blog this" to comment on it. Anyway, I don't live in Alabama, have never been to Alabama, and have experienced exactly no weather in Alabama of any kind whatsoever. All I know about weather in Alabama comes from the song that goes "Sweet home, Alabama. Where the skies are so blue." But if you wanna read more about weather in Alabama, visit the Alabama Weather Blog.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

A Caution to Covenanters

This caution applies to me too. It can be easy to let our Christianity be mere intellectual entertainment, rather than a genuine saving interest in Christ and a self-denying life of obedience to Him. We are called to know and to profess the truth, no doubt. But we are also called to live it out. "But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ" (2nd Peter 3:18). Covenanters may vigorously defended the public Covenants (as they well should), and yet neglect something very basic and essential about Covenantal Christianity. The following words by Archibald Mason are by way of warning to all of us claiming to be Covenanters:
If we pretend to be friends to our public covenants, and profess ourselves to be under their obligation; and are, at the same time, destitute of an interest in God, as our God in Christ, our public profession, though never so right, will aggravate our condemnation at the last. Let us therefore be careful about the reality of our personal religion; for, if we want this, no profession can compensate the defect. In order unto our being personally in covenant with God, a knowledge and conviction of the misery and guilt of our natural state, by the covenant of works; of the way of our recovery thro' Jesus Christ, by the covenant of grace; and a taking hold of him, and of that covenant of which he is the Mediator, in the exercise of a saving faith, are of absolute and indispensable necessity. O, then, let these things be our chief concern. Personal covenanting with God should also be diligently studied. It consists in the Christian's taking hold of God's covenant, as all his salvation and desire, and in devoting himself unto the Lord, to serve and glorify him, in the strength of his grace, all the days of his life. These solemn transactions betwixt God and the soul tend greatly to promote the exercise of true religion in the heart, and contribute much to the Christian's enjoying the comfort of it. It must be exceedingly absurd, for persons to profess a zeal for public covenants with God, who have never, in a religious and spiritual manner, entered into a personal covenant with him. Of all such the Lord will say, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. Let Christians then be careful, while they manifest a becoming zeal for our public vows unto God, that they be personally interested in God, as their covenant-God in Christ.

Let us be Covenanters, and let us be true Covenanters.

Monday, August 16, 2004

... blowing through the jasmine in my mind.

It's been a fun week. Hurricane Charley, originally on a crash course for Central PA, headed east and puttered out, bringing nothing more than a summer breeze. My grieviously drunken family member had another run in with local law enforcement, this time resulting in an involuntary commitment to a psychiatric unit. Still waiting on an update on that little situation. I still got this little summer cold that dropped down into my chest, as my colds always do, and I can't shake it. I tried dehydrating myself and running the air-conditioner constantly, as per Cheryl and Cathie's directions, availing only minor improvements.

In other news: Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary. I'll be celebrating tonight by either going on a violent rampage, or by going out for something to eat with my beloved. At this point, I'm leaning heavily towards the latter, so I hope we can land a babysitter. Well, I better get off the net, as it has recently been revealed that I am 2nd in internet usage in my entire place of employment. I'm still trying to figure out who's behind I've got to kick to be #1.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

A Word From Dr. Luther

"WHAT a beautiful, comforting Gospel that is in which the Lord Christ depicts Himself as the Good Shepherd; showing what a heart He has toward us poor sinners, and how we can do nothing to save ourselves.

"The sheep cannot defend nor provide for itself, nor keep itself from going astray if the shepherd did not continually guide it; and when it has gone astray and is lost, it cannot find its way back again nor come to its shepherd; but the shepherd himself must go after it, and seek it until he find it; otherwise it would wander and be lost forever. And when he has found it he must lay it on his shoulder and carry it, lest it should again be frightened away from himself, and stray, or be devoured by the wolf.

"So also is it with us. We can neither help nor counsel ourselves, nor come to rest and peace of conscience, nor escape the devil, death, and hell, if Christ Himself, by His word, did not fetch us, and call us to Himself. And even when we have come to Him, and are in the faith, we cannot keep ourselves in it, unless he lifts and carries us by His Word and power, since the devil is everywhere and at all times on the watch to do us harm. But Christ is a thousand times more willing and earnest to do all for His sheep than the best shepherd."

--from Watchwords for the Warfare of Life.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Hand me downs

I guess at some point back in the day, folks used to store things up on the wall, way up high, so far up that they needed help reaching things. This is evidenced by several songs where the protagonist is asking for his woman to get something down off the wall for him, because things have become intolerable. There are several variations of the blues song "Look on Yonders Wall" (or "Look on Yonder Wall") floating around out there. The items in question appear to be useful things, such as walking canes: "Look on yonder wall, hand me down my walking cane" (Look on Yonder Wall, as sung by Elmore James). Other times a hat is also included: "Hand me down my walking cane, hand me down my hat" (Rubberband Man, as performed by the Spinners). Sometimes it's a gun that's requested: "Look on the wall, baby, hand me down my shootin' iron" (Boot Hill as performed by Stevie Ray Vaughan). Of course, let's not leave out the bathtub hooch: "Hand me down, hand me down my moonshine" (Luther Allison). Well now, I've certainly sometimes felt so fed up with things that I'd like to tell my wife to hand me down something, but we just don't have these kinds of things on the walls. What am I gonna say? "Look on yonder wall, hand me down my... little ceramic monkey that we got free with that box of Red Rose tea." That's not doing it. Not only that, I'm 6' 1'' and my wife's nearly a full foot shorter than I am. She ain't gonna be handing me down anything! Oh well, so much for the days of short men and the things they hung on the wall.