teh r34l krotty

I’m sore all over due to the supreme beating I got in karate class last night.

At the beginning of class, all the black belts were removed from the regular class and taken into “the back room.”

There I was shown some things I never saw before, and was hit, kicked, bent, twisted, and mangled. The simple self-defense moves we’ve been taught thus far were now supplemented with wicked and vicious finishing techniques.

I was kicked in the groin, swept clear to the floor, chopped on the neck causing a brief but scary flash of “nothingness,” had a thumb shoved up under my zygomatic process (a friendly though painful substitution for sticking the thumb in the eye socket), and was placed in several arm locks that I’m still not sure what they were as it’s hard to see with my face planted on the floor.

I felt like a white belt again – getting beat up by smaller dudes with greater skill, knowing there is something cool here to be learned, but feeling embarrassed at my inability to keep up with what was being taught.

Driving home I noticed my neck was slightly swollen on the right side, and when I touched my neck near where my jaw is connected, it shot pain through my jaw similar to that caused by super sour candy. Today might right arm feels bruised on the tricep (???from what exactly???), a bruise on the back of my right hand (there are a couple things that may have caused that, and my jaw and neck are sore.

I pay good money to get beatings like this, and it was fun.