Something on Anger

I KNOW I'm not the only man on earth who has ever struggled with episodes of sinful anger. Especially when I'm tired, or I have other things on my mind, or I feel overwhelmed by life, I can find myself being too too quick to anger -- especially with the kids. Anger with kids can be especially dangerous, as the boys could potentially learn to act in the same angry fashion as the father, and the girls can be emotionally crushed and damaged by a father's anger.

As a reminder to myself, and hopefully as a help to others, I'm going to post a section from John Calvin's Commentary on Ephesians 4:26. He writes,

There are three faults by which we offend God in being angry. The first is, when our anger arises from slight causes, and often from no cause whatever, or at least from private injuries or offenses. The second is, when we go beyond the proper bounds, and are hurried into intemperate excesses. The third is, when our anger, which ought to have been directed against ourselves or against sins, is turned against our brethren. Most appropriately, therefore, did Paul, when he wished to describe the proper limitation of anger, employ the well-known passage, Be ye angry, and sin not. We comply with this injunction, if the objects of our anger are sought, not in others, but in ourselves, -- if we pour out our indignation against our own faults. With respect to others, we ought to be angry, not at their persons, but at their faults; nor ought we to be excited to anger by private offenses, but by zeal for the glory of the Lord. Lastly, our anger, after a reasonable time, ought to be allowed to subside, without mixing itself with the violence of carnal passions.

So, to review... we sin in our anger when --

1). We are angered easily, by slight things. When we are too easily offended by a cross look, a smirk, a poorly chosen phrase, a sloppy job, an accident, a personal insult, and all these kinds of little things that ultimately are meaningless, and are only offensive to us if we think too highly of ourselves.

2). Our anger, even if justified, goes beyond proper limits. When we are inappropriately and disproportionately angry. When we are furious and explosive.

3). The anger is directed at the wrong target. Anger should be directed at a problem, not at a person. Sin is the problem. OUR OWN sin is the primary problem.

We are not sinfully angry when --

1). Our anger is directed at our own sin, and not at other people.

2). Our anger, when appropriately aroused with respect to others, is aimed at the sin of others, and not at their persons.

3). Our anger is aroused not due to personal offense, but by zeal for the Lord and His glory.

4). Our anger is allowed to subside without mixing it with sinful violence.

I thought this quote was helpful in understanding and controlling anger. I hope others find it helpful too.