| Free movies for a year or free CDS for your life? | Free CD's, uh huh. |
| School or work? | Work |
| Christmas or birthday? | Birthday |
| Peanut Butter M&MS,Regular M&Ms, or Peanut M&MS? | Peanut M-er-M's |
| Dozen Roses or 3 boxes of chochlate? | Um, chochlate? |
| Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts? | To do what? My laundry? |
| Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise? | Hmm... bad actor, or scientologist? Tough one. |
| Vanilla Pepsi or Vanilla coke? | Vanilla Coke |
| American Eagle or Abercromie and Fitch? | Cabellas |
| Driving or flying? | Driving |
| Roller skating or ice skating? | Ice skating |
| Apples or oranges? | Oranges |
| Paris, France or Florence, Italy? | Florence, |
| Punk'D or The Newlyweds? | Newlyweds was FUNNY as all get out. |
| Jay Leno or David Letterman? | Letterman |
| New York or LA? | That's like choosing a punch in the stomach or a punch in the nose. |
| AOL messenger or MSN messenger? | MSN |
| Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt or J.LO/Ben Affleck? | G-way and Ray-cho. |
| Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger? | Yuck, what a couple of mo's. |
| leaf raking or snow shoveling? | Snow shoveling |
| black pen or blue pen? | Black |
| WalMart or Target? | Walmart |
| picnic under the stars or horse carriage in the park? | ants or a smelly ride? I guess the horse thing. |
| chochlate chip cookies or peanut butter cookies? | chochlate chip cookies |
| Kobe Bryant or Shaq? | Shaq could eat Kobe by accident. |
| basketball, baseball, or football? | Football |
| Hiliary Duff (Lizzie Mcguire) Or Lindsey Logan(Freaky Friday)? | Isn't it LOHAN, you goof? |
| French fries,curly fries, or tator tots? | Curlies |
| Ben Affleck or Matt Damon? | Ben is a better name, but Damon's makes good ribs. |
| Phoebe, Monica, or Rachel(off of FRIENDS)? | Skanks every one of them. |
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Some choices don't have to be made.
Disappointment
At the risk of sounding very petty, I'm still quite disappointed at the number of pushups I can muster at one time. We did pushups tonight in class, and I left feeling like a girl. After weeks of working specifically on pushups, I'm a girly little girl.
On a far more fearfully serious note, my heart sank at the news of Mrs. Schiavo's death today. It caused me to look at my Shorter Catechism, and something stuck hard:
Q67: Which is the Sixth Commandment?
A67: The Sixth Commandment is, Thou shalt not kill.
Q68: What is required in the Sixth Commandment?
A68: The Sixth Commandment requireth all lawful endeavours to preserve our own life,[*] and the life of others.
* The proof text for perserving the life of others?
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church," (Eph. 5:28-29).
As far as our wicked judges, who have used their power to ensure the death of the helpless, I'm reminded of...
Psalm 82
A Psalm of Asaph
1 God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods.
2 How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.
3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.
4 Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.
5 They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.
6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
7 But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.
8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.
On a far more fearfully serious note, my heart sank at the news of Mrs. Schiavo's death today. It caused me to look at my Shorter Catechism, and something stuck hard:
Q67: Which is the Sixth Commandment?
A67: The Sixth Commandment is, Thou shalt not kill.
Q68: What is required in the Sixth Commandment?
A68: The Sixth Commandment requireth all lawful endeavours to preserve our own life,[*] and the life of others.
* The proof text for perserving the life of others?
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church," (Eph. 5:28-29).
As far as our wicked judges, who have used their power to ensure the death of the helpless, I'm reminded of...
Psalm 82
A Psalm of Asaph
1 God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods.
2 How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.
3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.
4 Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.
5 They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.
6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
7 But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.
8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
To all Ignorant People.
To all Ignorant People,~William Perkins, THE FOUNDATION OF CHRISTIAN RELIGION, Gathered into Six Principles.
that desire to be instructed.
Poor people, your manner is to soothe up yourselves, as though you were in a most happy estate; but if the matter come to a just trial, it will fall out far otherwise. For you lead your lives in great ignorance, as may appear by these your common opinions which follow:
1. That faith is a man’s good meaning, and his good serving of God.
2. That God is served by the rehearsing of the Ten Commandments, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Creed.
3. That ye have believed in Christ ever since you could remember.
4. That it is a pity that he should live, which doth any whit doubt of his salvation.
5. That none can tell whether he shall be saved or not certainly; but that all men must be of a good belief.
6. That howsoever a man live, yet if he call upon God on his death-bed, and say, "Lord have mercy upon me," and so go away like a lamb, he is certainly saved.
7. That if any be strangely visited, he is either taken with a planet, or bewitched.
8. That a man may lawfully swear when he speaketh nothing but the truth; and swears by nothing but that which is good, as by his faith and troth.
9. That a preacher is a good man no longer than he is in the pulpit. "They think all like themselves."
10. That a man may repent when he will, because the Scriptures saith, "At what time soever a sinner doth repent of his sins," &c.
11. That it is an easier thing to please God, than to please our neighbour.
12. That ye can keep the commandments as well as God will give you leave.
13. That it is the safest to do in religion as most do.
14. That merry ballads and books, as Skoggin, Bevis of South Hampton, &c., are good to drive away the time, and to remove heart-qualms.
15. That ye can serve God with all your hearts, and that ye would be sorry else.
16. That a man need not hear so many sermons, except he could follow them better.
17. That a man, which cometh at no sermons, may as well believe, as he which hears all the sermons in the world.
18. That ye know all the preacher can tell you. For he can say nothing, but that every man is a sinner, that we must love our neighbours as ourselves, that every man must be saved by Christ, and all this ye can tell as well as he.
19. That it was a good world, when the old religion was, because all things were cheap.
20. That drinking or bezeling in the ale house or tavern, is good fellowship, and shows a good kind nature, and maintains neighbourhood.
21. That a man may swear by the Mass, because it is nothing now; and by our Lady, because she is gone out of the country.
22. That every man must be for himself, and God for us all.
23. That a man may make of his own, whatsoever he can.
24. That if a man remember to say his prayers every morning (though he never understand them) he hath blessed himself for all the day following.
25. That a man prayeth when he saith the Ten Commandments.
26. That a man eats his Maker in the sacrament.
27. That if a man be no adulterer, no thief, no murderer, and do no man harm, he is a right honest man.
28. That a man need not have any knowledge of religion, because he is not book-learned.
29. That one may have a good meaning when he saith and doth that which is evil.
30. That a man may go to wizards, called wise-men, for counsel; because God hath provided a salve for every sore.
31. That ye are to be excused in all your doings, because the best men are sinners.
32. That ye have so strong a faith in Christ, that no evil company can hurt you.
These and such like sayings, what argue they, but your gross ignorance? Now, where ignorance reigneth, there reigns sin; and where sin reigns, there the devil rules; and where he rules, men are in a damnable case.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Comfort from the Word
"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was." -- 2Timothy 3:1-9.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
More on Tea
So, I'm sipping my Tension Tamer tea, trying to relax (SERENITY NOW!), and I mention to my wife that this tea must be good for you because it's herbal, and everything herbal is good for you. And she asks me, "How comes that tea is called 'herbal,' but say, Orange Pekoe, is not 'herbal' even though it's [presumably] an herb?" Hmm... I said to myself.
Speaking of Tension Tamer, is anyone else a bit disturbed by the picture on the box?
Sipping of the cup of the scarlet woman sitting upon the dragon sure cuts the tension like nothing else, boy, let me tell ya!
Speaking of Tension Tamer, is anyone else a bit disturbed by the picture on the box?
Sipping of the cup of the scarlet woman sitting upon the dragon sure cuts the tension like nothing else, boy, let me tell ya!
Monday, March 21, 2005
Springing
For those of you who believe in the "four seasons theory," the calendar dictates that it is now Spring. Yippee! Time for bunnies and robins and blue skies and sunny days and cool breezes. How am I celebrating? It's push-up day. On my Karate off-days, I'm working on my push-ups and tricep dips. My goal is to get up to 85 push-ups in one shot. Ridiculous for an out of shape married guy like me, I know, but stop laughing. Here's how I'm doing it. Day one -- 3 perfect pushups, over and over throughout the day until I get past 85. After a day of rest, cuz the muscles have to rest to get stronger, Day two is again 3 perfect pushups, again and again, all day long until I get past 85. More rest. Day three is sets of 4 all day long until past 85. Today is day four, and I'm doing sets of 5. I'm figuring that when I'm further along with this schedule, I'll be doing 30, 40, 50, 60 at a pop. Speaking of bunnies, how's this for some Yin and Yang: Bunny Tracks Ice Cream. It's named after bunnies, and has little bunny candies in the ice cream, so Bro. Bunnyloving will enjoy it (Yin), but it's full of chocolate which will give Bro. Lovingbunny a near heart attack (Yang). Oh the cruel irony!
Friday, March 18, 2005
Earl Grey Thoughts on Phone Calls
I'm sipping some Earl Grey this morning, thinking about two phone calls we received yesterday. The first call was from a relative of the "distinguished citizen" demographic, telling us that he's writing us into his will, and writing another family member out (due to dangerous habits that do not need to be fueled with more money). While this will not please the family member who was written out, I'm certainly thankful for this turn of events. This family member who is remembering us in his will is fairly wealthy, and while the amount of money that was mentioned is going to set us up for life or anything, it could very well go towards a nice piece of property and a bigger home. Good phone call.
The next phone call we got yesterday was from an old friend that I have not seen in 5 or 6 years or something like that. Initially, little Daniel answered the phone, talked with the person, hung up, and then proceded to provide false information about who it was, what the person wanted, etc. According to Daniel, it was Pappy (my dad), and he wanted to talk about Winnie the Pooh and Karate. Well, we *69'd the call and it was the old friend I mentioned. He says, "Hi Jerry, how are things? Are the kids keeping you busy?" Ok, decent start to a conversation I suppose. He goes on, "Look, there's a business opportunity I'm looking at that you would be very interested in. But it's a little too complicated to discuss over the phone. We're having a meeting on Tuesday at 7pm," HOLD ON! MAN, is that disappointing or what? Another cult like "business" that turns all your old and current friends into walking, living, breathing profits. I said no thanks after he refused to reveal even the smallest bit of information as to the nature of this business... I had to come to the meeting to find out that precious information. Talk to ya in another 5 or 6 years, buddy. Strange phone call.
Phone calls -- they can rock your world, change your life, bum you out, pick you up, tick you off, etc. A virtual roller coaster right there in your home. Which is why I pretty much never answer the phone.
The next phone call we got yesterday was from an old friend that I have not seen in 5 or 6 years or something like that. Initially, little Daniel answered the phone, talked with the person, hung up, and then proceded to provide false information about who it was, what the person wanted, etc. According to Daniel, it was Pappy (my dad), and he wanted to talk about Winnie the Pooh and Karate. Well, we *69'd the call and it was the old friend I mentioned. He says, "Hi Jerry, how are things? Are the kids keeping you busy?" Ok, decent start to a conversation I suppose. He goes on, "Look, there's a business opportunity I'm looking at that you would be very interested in. But it's a little too complicated to discuss over the phone. We're having a meeting on Tuesday at 7pm," HOLD ON! MAN, is that disappointing or what? Another cult like "business" that turns all your old and current friends into walking, living, breathing profits. I said no thanks after he refused to reveal even the smallest bit of information as to the nature of this business... I had to come to the meeting to find out that precious information. Talk to ya in another 5 or 6 years, buddy. Strange phone call.
Phone calls -- they can rock your world, change your life, bum you out, pick you up, tick you off, etc. A virtual roller coaster right there in your home. Which is why I pretty much never answer the phone.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Of a Snake and His Idiot
A Cautionary Tale (which most will not understand).
The Snake is evil, conniving, and he thinks that things in "his world" always work out for him. In "his world" he can take what is not his, ruin people, behave like an animal (which is what he is, after all), and after saying a few words, shedding a few snake tears, and waiting for a short period of time, everything is just supposed to blow over. Well, "his world" is his own perverted and sick mind. I don't live in his world anymore, and I pity those who still do live there. Which brings me to the Snake's Idiot. The Idiot listens to the Snake, and believes every word the Snake whispers in his ear. The Idiot believes that the Snake is not evil, everyone else is evil for not wanting to listen to the Snake, as the Idiot is addicted to doing. The poor Snake is getting a bad break, in the mind of the Idiot. The Idiot thinks that all those who've been bitten by the Snake are required to take the Snake into their bosom again, lest their sins go unforgiven. He learned this garbage from the Snake. A strange and sad tale indeed!
The Idiot needs to stop listening to the Snake, and the Snake needs to shut his mouth before someone shuts it for him.
The End.
The Snake is evil, conniving, and he thinks that things in "his world" always work out for him. In "his world" he can take what is not his, ruin people, behave like an animal (which is what he is, after all), and after saying a few words, shedding a few snake tears, and waiting for a short period of time, everything is just supposed to blow over. Well, "his world" is his own perverted and sick mind. I don't live in his world anymore, and I pity those who still do live there. Which brings me to the Snake's Idiot. The Idiot listens to the Snake, and believes every word the Snake whispers in his ear. The Idiot believes that the Snake is not evil, everyone else is evil for not wanting to listen to the Snake, as the Idiot is addicted to doing. The poor Snake is getting a bad break, in the mind of the Idiot. The Idiot thinks that all those who've been bitten by the Snake are required to take the Snake into their bosom again, lest their sins go unforgiven. He learned this garbage from the Snake. A strange and sad tale indeed!
The Idiot needs to stop listening to the Snake, and the Snake needs to shut his mouth before someone shuts it for him.
The End.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
A Warning Against Slight Thoughts of Sin
If your heart is not yet troubled for sin, if you do not feel the weight of sin now, it is a dangerous sign that you are reserved to feel the weight of sin in torment, to know what the meaning of sin is in the burden of it in torment. If you now have slight thought concerning trouble for sin, I say, take it as from the Lord this day as spoken to you, it is a fearful sign, a brand upon you that you are reserved to feel trouble for sin eternally.
~ Jeremiah Burroughs, The Evil of Evils, Chapter 51.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
New kind of hurt
Ok, we just got back from class... and the whole left side of my body is pretty much shot. My left foot took another blow today (adding to the deep purples and light blues which now guild my foot), somehow I got a nice bubble on my shin (I just squished it down and made it go away), my hamstring is really sore, and something above my left hip hurts... I say "something" because I didnt' even know I had anything to hurt there... this is a new kind of pain that I'm going to have to research a bit. There's nothing like sparring the black belts to help you realize how bad you're stinking the place up. But we're still having a blast.
Until next time,
Yours, etc.
Until next time,
Yours, etc.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Deep thoughts (?)
It hit me yesterday, when due to my body aching I made the decision to wait another day before working out again, that right now... right this very minute... I'm as old as I've ever been. (closing eyes and sitting cross-legged on the floor, contemplating what this means)
My foot is quite bruised (again), but it looks (and smells!) worse than it feels. I just won some brand new foot pads on Ebay, so next time I do kumite (pre-arranged sparring drills), I'll be ready to rock.
The "What Rejected Crayon Are You?" quiz has been removed after I realized that some of the answers to the quiz are indecent. My apologies.
My foot is quite bruised (again), but it looks (and smells!) worse than it feels. I just won some brand new foot pads on Ebay, so next time I do kumite (pre-arranged sparring drills), I'll be ready to rock.
The "What Rejected Crayon Are You?" quiz has been removed after I realized that some of the answers to the quiz are indecent. My apologies.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Friday, March 04, 2005
We finally went and did it.
The last time we had a family photo done like this, it was just me, Rachel, and little Cole. I guess I didn't realize how big we look, number wise... not super big, but we take up some space, that's for sure.
Speaking of photographs, I really like picture blogs. But I don't tend to link to them because you never know when amongst all the cool pics you'll find someone giving the finger or taking off their clothes or something. I found this one today. Some extremely cool pictures, and it's not even in English! The blog named after the place where the Devil does his laundry has some cool pics of inner-city life, but as for the name of the blog.... to quote the pseudo-rocker David St. Hubbins, "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."
Speaking of photographs, I really like picture blogs. But I don't tend to link to them because you never know when amongst all the cool pics you'll find someone giving the finger or taking off their clothes or something. I found this one today. Some extremely cool pictures, and it's not even in English! The blog named after the place where the Devil does his laundry has some cool pics of inner-city life, but as for the name of the blog.... to quote the pseudo-rocker David St. Hubbins, "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Can you believe they fired him?
"They told me not to come back," he said to me.
"Really? That's too bad," I said. "Where did you work?"
He responded, "In the cafeteria at [a local hospital]. Those %$&*#@! They wrote me up three times and then fired me. The first time they wrote me up was for taking bacon and not paying for it."
With a suprised look on my face, I replied, "you were stealing bacon?"
"Yeah," he says. "Everybody picked at the food here and there, and they decided to come after me for it."
Incredulous me: "Oh, yeah?"
He continued, "The second write up was because I had my plastic gloves on, right? So, I was changing the garbage with my gloves on, and with the same gloves I picked up some cheese."
"Oh," I said. "So you were using the same gloves that you used to do the garbage, to serve food?"
"Yeah. But I only touched the outside of the garbage bag. Then the third thing was when I was changing this big bag of milk, and the nipple popped off and I spilled milk all over me. I yelled 'F#@%!' really loud, everybody in the cafeteria heard me. And that was the second time I yelled like that in about a week. So, they wrote me up and told me not to come back."
Ok, let's summarize: Strike one= stealing food. Strike two= touching garbage and serving food, in a hospital cafeteria, with the same gloves. Strike three= shouting the F-word so loud that all the people in the cafeteria turn around to see who shouted, TWICE IN A WEEK!
Yeah, I can't believed they let ya go, buddy!
"Really? That's too bad," I said. "Where did you work?"
He responded, "In the cafeteria at [a local hospital]. Those %$&*#@! They wrote me up three times and then fired me. The first time they wrote me up was for taking bacon and not paying for it."
With a suprised look on my face, I replied, "you were stealing bacon?"
"Yeah," he says. "Everybody picked at the food here and there, and they decided to come after me for it."
Incredulous me: "Oh, yeah?"
He continued, "The second write up was because I had my plastic gloves on, right? So, I was changing the garbage with my gloves on, and with the same gloves I picked up some cheese."
"Oh," I said. "So you were using the same gloves that you used to do the garbage, to serve food?"
"Yeah. But I only touched the outside of the garbage bag. Then the third thing was when I was changing this big bag of milk, and the nipple popped off and I spilled milk all over me. I yelled 'F#@%!' really loud, everybody in the cafeteria heard me. And that was the second time I yelled like that in about a week. So, they wrote me up and told me not to come back."
Ok, let's summarize: Strike one= stealing food. Strike two= touching garbage and serving food, in a hospital cafeteria, with the same gloves. Strike three= shouting the F-word so loud that all the people in the cafeteria turn around to see who shouted, TWICE IN A WEEK!
Yeah, I can't believed they let ya go, buddy!
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