Can you believe they fired him?

"They told me not to come back," he said to me.

"Really? That's too bad," I said. "Where did you work?"

He responded, "In the cafeteria at [a local hospital]. Those %$&*#@! They wrote me up three times and then fired me. The first time they wrote me up was for taking bacon and not paying for it."

With a suprised look on my face, I replied, "you were stealing bacon?"

"Yeah," he says. "Everybody picked at the food here and there, and they decided to come after me for it."

Incredulous me: "Oh, yeah?"

He continued, "The second write up was because I had my plastic gloves on, right? So, I was changing the garbage with my gloves on, and with the same gloves I picked up some cheese."

"Oh," I said. "So you were using the same gloves that you used to do the garbage, to serve food?"

"Yeah. But I only touched the outside of the garbage bag. Then the third thing was when I was changing this big bag of milk, and the nipple popped off and I spilled milk all over me. I yelled 'F#@%!' really loud, everybody in the cafeteria heard me. And that was the second time I yelled like that in about a week. So, they wrote me up and told me not to come back."

Ok, let's summarize: Strike one= stealing food. Strike two= touching garbage and serving food, in a hospital cafeteria, with the same gloves. Strike three= shouting the F-word so loud that all the people in the cafeteria turn around to see who shouted, TWICE IN A WEEK!

Yeah, I can't believed they let ya go, buddy!