My new doctor

"As far off as it may sound, up to four cigars a day can help anyone:

Maintain optimum weight and Body Mass Index
Stay as mentally sharp and alert as possible
Avoid (and combat) addictions to truly harmful substances
Lessen the effects of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's - even schizophrenia"

Finally, a doctor that recommends red meat, coffee, eggs, butter, tobacco and exposure to the sun! When can I get scheduled for a check up?