Raging

I chose the name Raging Calvinist a while ago, back when I started going into chat rooms full of flaming Arminians spewing forth a false gospel with great zeal. My handle was an indicator that I was there to equal their zeal with an opposing, and I believe, the Biblical, alternative to their freewillism. When I entered the room, inevitably I would get one or all of four reactions:

1. What's a Calvinist?

2. Why do you follow the teachings of Calvin instead of Christ?

3. Calvin killed people becaue they disagreed with him.

4. Predestination is wrong, we all have a choice.

Now, I'm not here today to talk about any of those things. But rather, to honestly approach a subject that hits close to home for me. I titled this blog, Confessions of a Raging Calvinist, and so it is here that I now confess. I confess, that in a sense different than the meaning described above, that I am a raging Calvinist, and I confess that it is sinful to be such.

I can be downright scary to be around. I have a short temper, which has grown much much shorter over the past 2 years or so. When I become agitated, which sometimes seems to be quite easily, I tend to get loud and threatening... ugly and nasty. What do the Scriptures say?

"A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame" (Prov. 12:16).

"He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly" (Prov. 14:29).

"But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth" (Col. 3:8).

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God" (James 1:19, 20).

I've been told that I avoid discussing personal sins. Perhaps to some extent this is true, my sinful flesh despises such an activity. But here goes.... I have a sinful problem with anger and wrath. The Bible says this is foolish, shameful, something to be "put off" (repented of and mortified), and something that does not work the righteousness of God. In my raging, I show myself a sinful and shameful fool, who works my own wrath and not the righteous works of God our Righteousness.

The thing about being a "raging Calvinist" is that the kind of raging I am talking about has nothing to do with true Calvinism, but is contrary to it. Raging Calvinist is an oxymoron, in this sense. If I'm gauging myself correctly, my anger seems to stem from a lack of peace. I am not at peace within, and when that matches up with a lack of peace without, look out. My anger, then, is from a lack of faith. It is a wicked lashing out at the sovereignty of God. If I truly believed that the Lord has brought an event to pass, then I would learn to keep my mouth shut, and say with David, "I was dumb, I opened not my mouth; because thou didst it" (Psalm 39:9).

The words of a true Calvinist, on Psalm 39:9:

"Here David blames himself, because he had not preserved that silence which, as we have already seen, the violence of his grief forced him to break. When he says then that he was dumb, he does not mean this as a commendation of the uniform and persevering restraint which he had exercised over himself. It is rather a correction of his error, as if reproving his own impatience, he had spoken within himself in this way: What doest thou? thou hadst enjoined upon thyself silence, and now thou murmurest proudly against God; what wilt thou gain by this presumption? We have here a very profitable and instructive lesson; for nothing is better fitted to restrain the violent paroxysms of grief, than the recollection that we have to do, not with a mortal man, but with God, who will always maintain his own righteousness in opposition to all that men may say against it in their murmuring complaints, and even in their outrageous accusations. What is the reason why the great majority of men run to such excess in their impatience, but because they forget that, in doing so, they dare to plead a controversy with God? Thus, while some impute all their miseries to fortune, and others to men, and others account for them from a variety of causes which their own fancy suggests, while scarcely one in a hundred recognises in them the hand of God, they allow themselves to indulge in bitter complaint, without ever thinking that in so doing they offend God. David, on the contrary, in order to subdue every unholy desire and sinful excess, returns to God, and resolves to keep silence, because the affliction which he is now suffering proceeded from God. As David, who was thus afflicted with the severest trials, resolved nevertheless to keep silence, let us learn from this, that it is one of the chief exercises of our faith to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, and to submit to his judgments without murmuring or complaint. It is to be observed, that men humbly and calmly submit themselves to God only when they are persuaded, not only that he does by his almighty power whatever he pleases, but that he is also a righteous Judge; for although the wicked feel that the hand of God is upon them, yet as they charge him with cruelty and tyranny, they cease not to pour forth horrible blasphemies against him. In the meantime, David regards the secret judgments of God with such reverence and wonder, that, satisfied with his will alone, he considers it sinful to open his mouth to utter a single word against him." -- John Calvin.

Lord, help my unbelief.

I must go pray now, for the remedy to my sinful rage is found in Christ, who alone can grant me that peace that I require. And the way to lay hold of Christ and the peace He has, is through prayer.

"Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:5-7).

Pray for me, brothers and sisters, if you would be so kind towards so raging a Calvinist.